Abnegation
by ebatcl
Summary: "And when we rise, hand in hand, I realize that if we had both chosen differently, we might have ended up doing the same thing, in a safer place, in gray clothes instead of black ones." Beatrice and Caleb choose Abnegation, as do Christina, Will, Uriah and others. No war, but they all have to go through initiation under the youngest leader and volunteer instructor - Tobias Eaton.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**** My first multi-chapter Divergent fan fiction. Since the previous two one-shots had been unhappy ones, my way of taking out the frustration and dealing with the end of 'Allegiant', I decided to write something different with an eventual 'happily ever after'.**

**Spoilers:**** Divergent and The Transfer.**

**Disclaimer:**** Veronica Roth owns it all.**

**A/N 2: This chapter contains Veronica Roth's works…with exceptions at the end of each POVs – the ones not in italics.**

PROLOGUE:

TobiasPOV:

"_Congratulations. Your result was textbook Abnegation."_

…

"_Aren't you pleased?" she says._

…

_I knew what my choices in the aptitude test would add up to before I arrived at school this morning. I chose food over a weapon. I threw myself in the path of the dog to save the little girl. I knew that after I made those choices, the test would end and I would receive Abnegation as a result. And I don't know that I would have made different choices if my father hadn't coached me, hadn't controlled every part of my aptitude test from afar._

…

"_I'm pleased," I say firmly._

…

"_Ah, a rule follower," he says, like he's disappointed. "Your mother said to me once that she felt like inertia had carried her to Abnegation. It was the path of least resistance." He shrugs. "Trust me when I tell you, Eaton boy, that resisting is worth doing."_

…

"_Don't lie to me," he says, and he seizes my arm, his fingers tight like a vise. I don't look at him._

"_I'm not," I say. "I got Abnegation, just as expected. The woman barely looked at me on my way out of the room. I promise."_

_He releases me. My skin pulses from where he gripped it._

…

_That night I sleep on my stomach, pain biting each thought, with my broken possessions on the floor around me. After he hit me until I had to stuff my fist into my mouth to muffle a scream, he stomped on each object until it was broken or dented beyond recognition, then threw the trunk into the wall so the lid broke from the hinges._

…

_Marcus stands in front of me._

"_You know what to do," he says, and it's more like he's telling himself than me. "You know what the right choice is. I know you do."_

_I just stare somewhere south of his eyes._

"_I'll see you soon," he says._

…

_A few hoots rise up from the Dauntless section, and the rest of the Dauntless laugh. I think of the fear swallowing me last night until I couldn't feel, until I couldn't breathe. I think of the years that have ground me into dust beneath my father's heel._

_In Amity I would find the kind of acceptance I've craved my entire life, and maybe, over time, it would teach me to feel steady in myself, comfortable with who I am._

_But as I look at the people sitting in that section, in their reds and yellows, I see only whole, healed people, capable of cheering one another, capable of supporting one another. They are too perfect, too kind, for someone like me to be driven into their arms by rage and fear._

_I know what happens in Candor's initiation. I heard whispers about it in school one day. There, I would have to expose every secret, dig it out with my fingernails. I would have to flay myself alive to join Candor. No, I can't do that._

_I learn easily enough for Erudite, but I know myself well enough to understand that I am too volatile, too emotional, for a place like that. It would strangle me, and what I want is to be free, not to be shuffled into yet another prison._

…

"_Eaton, Tobias."_

_I don't feel nervous as I walk down the aisle to the bowls, though I still haven't chosen my place. Max passes me the knife, and I wrap my fingers around the handle. It's smooth and cool, the blade clean. A new knife for each person, and a new choice._

_As I walk to the center of the room, to the center of the bowls, I pass Tori, the woman who administered my aptitude test. You're the one who has to live with your choice, she said. Her hair is pulled back, and I can see a tattoo creeping over her collarbone, toward her throat. Her eyes touch mine with peculiar force, and I stare back, unflinching, as I take my place among the bowls._

_What choice can I live with?_

A picture of the factionless man comes to my mind…and his words_: "I'd rather eat out of a can than be strangled by a faction."_

How did that man meet my mother?

What if that man was in Abnegation? What if it's the governing faction that metaphorically strangled his life to become factionless? What if his fate was because of those running the government?

Because of my father?

I knew how even my father's closest associate, Andrew Prior, had no idea what kind of man Marcus was.

Maybe it was time, time someone stood up to Marcus Eaton. I was already aware that during initiation I would not have to reside with my father. And if I came in the top three, I would be provided with my own house, so I would be able to move out immediate after initiation was over.

Leaving Abnegation would be the path of least resistance, but I agreed with the factionless man – if I stayed in Abnegation and exposed Marcus' true colors to the government, then resistance was worth doing.

For the first time in my life, I'm not afraid anymore. I'll never know if I'm brave enough to have ever become a Dauntless member, but I know what I _can_ do in Abnegation – prevent another man from becoming factionless, prevent another childhood from being destroyed…prevent another Marcus Eaton from rising to power.

With sure hands, I picked up the knife and cut deep. The blood pooled at the center of my palm, before I let them slide and gather in among the gray stones in the bowl.

"Abnegation".

TrisPOV:

"…_are called…_Divergent_."_

…

_It's my choice now, no matter what the test says._

_Abnegation. Dauntless. Erudite._

_Divergent._

…

_It's only when I try to live it myself that I have trouble. It never feels genuine._

_But choosing a different faction means I forsake my family. Permanently._

…

"_Choose wisely, little girl."_

_..._

_Maybe I don't have to leave my family. Maybe if I fight to make Abnegation work, my act will turn into reality._

…

_In an instant I can see him living the same kind of life my father did: staying in Abnegation, learning a trade, marrying Susan, and having a family. It will be wonderful._

_I may not see it._

…

_My father kisses my forehead and claps Caleb on the shoulder, grinning._

"_See you soon," he says. Without a trace of doubt._

…

_Before she pulls away, she turns her head and whispers in my ear, "I love you. No matter what."_

…

"Caleb Prior."

As my brother gets up and walks confidently towards his destiny, I observe my parents. I don't need to watch him cut his hand and drop his blood on the gray stones. I know he will. And that my parents will be happy. Too happy that maybe they will not even notice their daughter choosing another faction.

And it is that thought exactly that pierces my heart with a sharp pain.

"Abnegation."

My faction don't erupt into applause as the Dauntless do when their children returns home to them, but the huge smiles and the long hugs that Caleb receives – not just from my parents but others as well, guts me. I know I've never been a true Abnegation at heart, but will they even miss me if I disappear away with the Dauntless as I wanted to do?

Will anyone care? Will anyone ever remember Beatrice Prior?

"Beatrice Prior."

As I walk towards the bowls, I look around. I know I'll not join Erudite, so the war inside me was between Dauntless and Abnegation. The gray-clad people nods at me, while faces of my family are smiling. My father is probably still too happy that his son returned to him, but my mother's smile never reaches her eyes – they look sad, like she knows I'm thinking about leaving. Even Caleb look backs like he'll never see me again.

My eyes water and I look away, finding Marcus patiently holding the knife towards me. I take it and as I slice my palm, I look again, this time towards the sea of black. The faces are unknown to me…except for one. Tori.

Suddenly, her warning rings in my ears and I realize that she's looking just as tense as she did yesterday after my inconclusive aptitude test. Between thinking about staying in Abnegation or leaving for Dauntless, I had overlooked that I'm not either yet.

But that I'm both.

That I'm Divergent.

And in danger.

Suddenly I feel like only one can keep me safe, the arms that have always kept me safe – my mother. And it is her I look at first, as the blood drips over the gray stones from my hand. Her eyes close, not just in happiness, but relief. In that moment I know – I know she knows what's wrong with me, that I'm in danger.

My father smiles proudly as I reach them; Caleb hugs and his smile is so wide I'm afraid his face will split in half. It's my mother who holds me the longest. I look sideways over her shoulder at Tori, and her eyes show the same kind of relief I had just seen in my mother's.

As others murmurs their happiness in having me back, I realize that maybe I'm not so insignificant. I would have been _missed_ by them, not forgotten. And with my family standing behind me, I'll overcome whatever danger I may be in.

I am selfish. I am brave.

I am Abnegation.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**** Here's chapter two. **

**I haven't finished writing the whole story, but I've a general outline. I don't intend to make the story long, because I tend to lose interests. So, twenty chapters at most. Haven't thought it all out, but we'll see the resolution with Marcus and of course, Beatrice/Tobias getting together.**

**I would like to know though, whether you guys will prefer more romance or more of initiation/exposing Marcus and all that.**

**Spoilers:**** The books, obviously, but this is mostly AU.**

**Disclaimer:**** Not mine at all, or Allegiant ending would have been a little different ;).**

Chapter 1:

TrisPOV:

I had been so pre-occupied wondering which faction to choose that I hadn't noticed _why _Abnegation was happy to see me back. Not that there were many 16 year olds to return home this year, but…there were certainly more than three.

Yet, Caleb, Susan and I were it – the only Abnegation born choosing their own faction.

For a moment, I couldn't believe that Robert defected. I looked around and saw him among the Amity, but instead of enjoying himself with his new peers, he had his head bowed like a regular Abnegation child. It was the soft smile curling his lips that gave away how he was really feeling to leave the place he called home for sixteen years.

Maybe I wasn't the only one struggling to live by the Abnegation standards?

It was a record low, I was sure – the number of Abnegation children returning home. It was also a record high – the number of transfer children joining Abnegation. In my whole life, I've only ever heard of two such people joining our faction. Two years ago, one boy and one girl were said to be the first transfer Abnegation initiates in over a decade or more. They were both from Dauntless.

I was curious about them once, but I had never seen them in any Abnegation mass gatherings, and people in Abnegation don't make a habit of calling upon one another. Having parties or guests over for no specific reason were considered selfish indulgences too.

This year, there were not two, but three Dauntless transfer teenagers, two from Candor, and one from Erudite. I never paid much attention in school, either on my text books or the students, so I didn't know any of them. But I did know the colors each faction wears, and it was their clothes that gave them away.

"Alright children, it's time to go to your new home," I heard my father say to all the new Abnegation initiates. His face was smiling and welcoming, like a true Abnegation, who also works as a council member in the government. Marcus Eaton has already left, to prepare for the Welcoming Ceremony I believe. I saw that my mother was beside by father, but they whispered something to each other and then she left.

She didn't look back to give Caleb or me any special smiles. That would show preference for her children over other initiates – which would be considered selfish.

Caleb was the first among all us initiates to move and walk out the door. But then he only did so to open it for the others to go out and wait for the bus that would take us back. It had never even occurred to me to hold the doors for the rest of my fellow initiates.

One of the Dauntless, the only boy in their group, was the first to move, followed by two girls from his previous faction. The Candors were next, with the Erudite boy bringing up the rear. As expected by my father and brother, I was the last one to join them.

It was the same as we got on the bus, with my family the last ones to hop in. But while the girls rushed to take a seat, the Dauntless boy remained standing. The Candors didn't even seem like they considered traveling while standing. The Erudite also didn't sit, but it seemed like he knew he wasn't supposed to. Well, he was Erudite, so I'm sure he has read about how Abnegation was all about being selfless and giving up your position for others and all that. I was a candidate for Erudite too, so I guess I knew what he was thinking. No, it was the Dauntless boy who puzzled me – it was not in their nature to be selfless and his friends were proof of that. So, why was he standing…when there were sits available?

I didn't get much time to dwell as we were soon in Abnegation.

However, I had never seen the building we were currently approaching. Again, people in Abnegation didn't make a habit of exploring their surroundings. Time-waste and self-indulgences or some such matter. It was gray as usual, but like made of cement and never painted on. One story, and comprising of a small area.

As I had expected, Marcus Eaton was already there. Standing with him were three other people – a female and two males. They barely looked old enough to have powerful positions in the government, but if there were with Marcus and greeting us, then they must be important. I can't see much of them from where I'm still standing inside the bus, but the one standing farthest from Marcus seems to be scowling…and for some reason, the only one who captured my fleeting attention.

Since I'm one of the last ones to get down, only ahead of Caleb and my father, I see how all the other initiates react to meeting the leader of not only Abnegation, but the man who runs the government in charge of all factions.

The Candors simply look and walk ahead, where else the Erudite seems curious. It were the Dauntless that intrigue me; the dark-skinned boy gives a faint smile as he looks ahead and I notice one of the two young men, who has similar looks to the initiate, smile a little in return.

They know each other!

I also notice the young woman ahead try hard not to look happy, but she does as she stares at the Dauntless girls. I'm not sure which one she knows or if both of them. I don't know if anyone else notices or realizes the connection, but I am very sure that the Dauntless transfers this year are well acquainted with the people we are walking towards, which means the woman and one of the men were the Dauntless transfers form two years back.

We are almost close to where Marcus and the others were standing, and for a moment my heart races. Because while I was busy making my observations, someone else was observing me. It was the same young man I had seen from the bus…and he still seemed to be scowling.

But I wasn't sure if I was nervous because I wasn't behaving like a proper Abnegation born and keeping my eyes down, or because of something else.

Just then Marcus coughed a little, as if to ensure he had everyone's hundred percent attention. Once all nine initiates' eyes were on him, he started his little speech that I could tell was practiced – either from saying the same thing year after year, or a little something he made up ever since seeing all the new faces joining Abnegation.

"I'm Marcus Eaton, as you all know," he said with a smile. I guess it was supposed to be a kind one, but somehow looked a bit arrogant to me. "As the chief of the government, a position appointed to me by affirmation from all factions," at this point he looked at the Erudite boy and I remembered that the Erudites had recently been attacking Abnegation for what they considered was incompetence in running the government, "it is my duty to help and guide you in becoming respected and responsible members of our community."

Since both Marcus and his speech bored me, I let my eyes travel around the other people standing beside him. My father had joined him on the right, while Marcus' left side was still occupied with the three I've seen before. As expected, the two who had acquaintances among the initiates were looking at us from the corners of their eyes, but the one that made me anxious was looking at his feet, as he was supposed to be. It relied that while they were prominent enough to stand beside our leader, but they were not yet in the same level of power as Marcus. What caught my attention was that the last one was gritting his teeth, like he also thought Marcus was sprouting a load of crap.

"Now, it's not easy to be the one to take charge of everyone, but I'll continue to serve selflessly with my last breath," Marcus continued. "I hope you all will also feel the same way, no matter where you end up in Abnegation."

He was talking about our future jobs.

"I'll leave my trusted associate, Andrew Prior, to help you settle down for now. But we will meet again once the initiation period is over. Good luck to you all."

With that the monotonous speech over, Marcus Eaton walked away…but not before I saw him give a quick hard look at the scowling young man. I wondered what their animosity was all about, for it seemed mutual.

My father was happy to take over for his friend.

"Marcus Eaton works hard for us all, so we should feel grateful that he took some time out from his busy schedule to welcome you all."

The Candon girl snorted, and I found it difficult to keep my laughter in too. One look at my brother though, and I felt deflated and guilty for my misdemeanor. Caleb had that kind of effect on me. My father gave no indication he noticed either the Candor or me.

"Before we take you to where you'll reside during initiation period, I'd like to introduce you all to your instructor, Tobias Eaton"

It was the scowling man, and I was right when I though he looked too young to hold a powerful position – Tobias Eaton had gone through his own initiation just two years before, so he was only two years older than my brother and me.

He looked at us all and moved his lips a bit to one side. I guess it was supposed to be a lopsided smile, but looked more like a grimace to me, what with his jaws all set and eye-brows drawn in like he was contemplating murder.

That's when I noticed it – his eyes. While Marcus' deep blue eyes always looked weird to me, the same color made his son's eyes seem mysterious…like a sea reflecting the starry night sky, and I seemed to be drowning in them.

Caleb poked me with his elbow and I realized I had been staring. I quickly looked away, but I know Tobias Eaton had noticed.

"Tobias is taking time out from his own busy schedule to help you, so you should take the opportunity to learn everything you can from him," my father said with a smile, and then winked at us all. "He was first in his class, and the youngest council member in the history of our government."

"Wait, what?" said an incredulous voice. It was olive-skinned Candor girl.

"Isn't he…isn't he a little too young to be a leader?" The other Candor, the big and burly boy.

"Age isn't a factor to become a leader in Abnegation; coming first in initiation class is. Which is why ranking is based on pre-determined points and not against each other. Most of the time, Abnegation don't even have a number one in class, because the required criteria is not met by any initiate."

MY father chuckled, and said to the boy who had spoken, "I'm glad that you were a true Erudite. I hope now that you've joined Abnegation, you'd strive to follow the rules here to the best of your capabilities too."

Not if Caleb had any say in the matter, I thought as I looked at my brother's stiff posture.

"Well, this fine young man here is Zeke, who will help Tobais during initiation. And this lovely young lady is Shauna, who will assist the girls."

With that my father walks away, and we follow, as Shauna, Zeke and Tobias walk in a line behind us all. I glance back to take a look Tobias again, but turn away immediately when I see that he was staring at me too, with the same murderous expression on his features.

…..

The inside of the building was as plain as the outside. There were two separate rooms and bathrooms, one for the boys and one for the girls. Another set of small rooms with attached bathrooms, so they were most likely for the instructors. A big kitchen, but an even bigger dining hall. Everything was gray – as far as the eyes could see, it were all a variation of grey. Including the clothes and boots that were left at the foot of each bed in the rooms.

We were asked to take off our old clothes, and put on the new Abnegation outfits. Susan and I didn't really have to change, but I did anyway. They were new clothes and the ones I was wearing were over a year old, since I didn't grow in height in the past year, so my family didn't bother getting me anything new. Again, extravagances and since both my parents worked for the government, they wanted to model the proper Abnegation decorum.

Watching me change, Susan followed too. Maybe she thought Caleb would expect it?

"Gosh, these clothes are so dreary," said one of the girls. I expected it to be the Candor, but it was one of the Dauntless, her features clearly showing her disgust.

"Abnegation rejects vanity," I said without thinking, and Susan looked shocked. I knew Abnegations shouldn't talk out of turn, but all teenagers are aware before the Choosing Ceremony about the basic rules that they would have to follow, and one of them were colors and styles of each faction's dress code.

"Yeah, if you didn't like it, then maybe you should have stayed in Dauntless," said in the Candor girl. The Dauntless huffed and started undressing, while her friend just shook her head, as if in resignation.

"Hi, I'm Christina," the Candor girl who just had my back introduced herself, "but you can call be Chris."

"Beatrice," I said, returning her smile.

"Chris and Tris," she seemed amused. "I think we are gonna get along great."

For the first time since the Choosing Ceremony, I was really happy to have decided on Abnegation, for I felt like I finally found a true friend in Christina. Susan and I were never friends, just neighbors who were forced to get along. I felt a little guilty for thinking like that, but as I saw Susan helping one of the Dauntless girls, despite her reluctance, to make the perfect hair bun, I knew she wouldn't miss my company.

…..

"This is your first night as initiates and here it all begins," my father said from the table at the front of the dining hall, where he was flanked by Tobias and Zeke on each side. Shauna sat beside Zeke, like she had stood by his side before. They must be a couple and had decided to defect together.

But why?

Every time I look at all the transfers, from before and the ones with me, the question burns my mind with curiosity. But as a true Abnegation, I don't ask. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know who to ask because I doubt anyone will answer me honestly.

Well, maybe Christina will.

Once everyone made themselves comfortable, I posed the question to the girl beside me. Caleb looked at me with disapproving eyes, but Christina didn't seem to mind.

"I couldn't deal with the 'no secret policy' in Candor. And Abnegation seemed easy," she shrugged.

"Yeah, same here," said the gigantic boy. "I'm Al, by the way."

Automatically, all eyes seem to fall on the Erudite boy. "My name is Will, and I transferred because I'm tired of my old faction attacking the government," he gave a mischievous smile. "I've a spot for the underdogs, in case you haven't noticed."

Our eyes then moved towards the Dauntless, none of whom seem eager to share anything. Finally, the one sitting in the middle of the three sighed and said, "I'm Marlene and this killjoy here is Lynn and the mute is Uriah."

"And that's all?" Al asked, clearly waiting for Marlene to elaborate why they joined Abnegation.

"Yes," scowled Lynn.

"You're lying," Christina stated.

The boy called Uriah looked at her then.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lynn again.

"You're hiding something," Christina said in a straight forward manner. "And don't bother denying, because I can tell. Born in Candor, remember?"

Al nodded in agreement.

Marlene looked at her two friends and then said, "Okay, I moved to Abnegation because Uriah moved, alright? He's my boyfriend."

I already suspected that, but it was not the answer I was looking for.

"Oh please, we already know that," Will rolled his eyes. "What I would like to know is why are you hiding the fact that Uriah knows that Zeke dude or that Lynn and Shauna have met before?"

Everyone else looked surprised except for me. I was not even surprised that Will was the one who also figured out the connection. Maybe I would have fit in better with the Erudite than I had realized.

"Fine," sighed Marlene, like she was conceding defeat. "Zeke is Uriah's brother and Shauna is Lynn's sister and that's why they moved here, happy? My reasons are still what I stated before."

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Al said with a smile. "We are initiates together and it would be better if we get to know one another and be friends, don't you think?"

Some murmured in the affirmative, some nodded, but I had this peculiar feeling that not all truths were out. To start with, Uriah really didn't seem behave like a Dauntless. Maybe that's why he left them, but it didn't seem like he belonged in Abnegation either. More like, he was trying his best to show everyone that he was a true Abnegation.

Caleb, Susan and I introduced ourselves to everyone else too and nothing was questioned about us, since we were Abnegation born.

Just then it was announced food was ready and instead of us getting it ourselves, my father put the food in front each of us. Seemed like a simple Abnegation thing to do on his part, selflessly taking care of new initiates.

It was only when I noticed the contents on our plates and saw the hawk-like way the people at the instructors' table were watching us that I realized initiation has already begun.

Because the quantity and quality of food were not the same in each of the initiate's plate.

As I looked at everyone, I knew Caleb and Susan won't complain. They were true Abnegations. Even Will's quietness was not shocking – I'm sure he has read that he has to be selfless in Abnegation. It was once more Uriah, who mystified me. Because he ate without any complain, even though his girlfriend and friend were enraged, as was Christina and Al.

"How come he has more food than us?" Lynn asked, outraged.

"Maybe because he is big and needs it more than a little, rude thing like you," Christina replied, sarcastically.

"Well, it's not fair, considering Abnegation is supposed to be all about being selfless," Marlene joined her friend.

"Look, didn't we all agree to be friends just now?" Asked Al.

"I never agreed," Lynn replied hotly.

"Don't worry, we don't want to be friends with you." Christina again.

"Please don't fight. If you want, you can have some from mine," said Caleb, ever the perfect Abnegation.

"Like you got a lot on you plate," Marlene said, rolling her eyes.

"Wait, you're a big one too, so why did you get chicken food also?" Lynn asked, frowning. Caleb just shrugged. He didn't have the answer, but he will never complain about anything in this faction. Same with Susan, who also offered her food.

"This doesn't make sense," Christina murmured. "She's also little like Tris, but she has more food!"

I was lucky that the quantity in my plate was nothing much, but even then I didn't feel like sacrificing it, like a good Abnegation girl should. Caleb noticed and motioned with his head for me to be selfless, but I just looked away.

"If you are so hungry, Lynn, you can take from me."

Uriah. And this time I wasn't surprised anymore. I finally figured out what was going on – he was trying to fit in too hard, because he was afraid of not fitting at all. Just like me.

He was Divergent.

"This is not about food," Will finally opened his mouth since the argument broke out.

"What do you mean?" The former Candors asked simultaneously. Guess they didn't like any mysteries.

"Don't you see? It's part of our initiation. We are supposed to be selfless, and that's what the Abnegations are testing us now – whether we are selfless enough to give away our food to the less fortunate."

Suddenly, everybody seemed to get it and quieted down.

Zeke rose from the table at the front. "I see that you've finally figured out the first part of your initiation. Yes, we are testing you already."

My father was not present in that table anymore. I didn't even realize when he had left. Because now, it was just Zeke, Shauna and Tobias only. And instead of a scowl, he had a frown on his face…eyes still trained on me.

I looked away and my heart started racing again.

"Now I understand it was not fare to keep you in the dark, but the top scorer in Abnegation will one day go on to become the leader of the factions and run the government, so we can't have you all pretend to be good."

At that point Tobias rose and walked towards our table, in all his gray glory. I always found the color plain, but Tobias actually made it look appealing. He has removed his outer cloak and was now wearing just his dark gray cargo pants and a tee-shirt of a lighter shade, with boots that almost looked black.

Although my brother and Tobias were born and raised in the same faction, the two looked vastly different – one an Abnegation stiff and the other…almost Dauntless.

I noticed that Zeke was also dressed similarly, but only Tobias caught my attention. I could feel my cheeks reddening and looked down quickly, hoping no one saw me staring at our instructor and blushing profusely at him.

"As you've already been told, the points you'll be ranked against are all pre-determined."

I never thought a voice could sound so low and deep, and yet command everyone's attention. My cheeks seem to get even hotter, where as I had this tingling sensation somewhere in my stomach. Even my breathing got heavy, and I felt like I was going to melt or faint or do something equally stupid.

"You will have to earn first position in all three stages of your tests to earn the top position. The three stages will test your selflessness _and_ your ability to lead. We will test your body, your brains, and your subconscious. But you will NOT be warned beforehand for the reason Zeke already stated. Luckily for you all, tonight's dinner was just a trial run. We usually don't do this, but since we have a lot of transfers this year, we felt it a _selfless _gesture from our partto give them a first-hand demonstration. Abnegations should have already known how to behave in such a situation."

I looked up at that, and although no one would have noticed it, I saw him rest his eyes briefly on me when uttering that last sentence. Now my cheeks burned for an entirely different reason.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**** Chapter three.**

**Well, I know the updates are coming fast, but it will not be the case all the time. Since I've a little break from my studies now, so I'm updating regularly. Don't get used to it, though ;). Just thought I should warn you :).**

**Spoilers:**** AU story, so not much really.**

**Disclaimer:**** I'm still not over Allegiant, haha, so yeah, all Veronica Roth's.**

**A/N 2:**** One of you said more romance, so okay, I'll try to write more about that. But no love at first sight, 'cause I really don't believe in those nor can I write about them. Now, attraction? Yeah, maybe ;).**

Chapter 2:

TrisPOV:

I huffed, sat down on the pavement and leaned against the wall of an abandoned building, and sighed in exhaustion. It was break time, and I could already tell I'll not be leading the government one day. Working for the factionless was no news to me, but loading a truck-full of food and old clothes in the heat and then walking from one faction hide-out to another while supplying the basic necessities for the whole morning has taken its toll on me.

It was good to see that Christina and Susan were in no better shape than me. A bit surprising that Will looked burned out as well. Guess being a male didn't necessarily mean one was strong. It was even more shocking to see the Dauntless unable to handle the physical work though. I always thought they were the strongest, but only Uriah seemed to be okay – and I felt like I knew why. The girls looked dead beat. Caleb and Al were the only ones who made all the hard work look like a walk in the park.

Hmm, it wouldn't take a genius to figure out who would be the top scorers in this stage of initiation. Really, it didn't matter whether we were warned or not – the morning's task screamed 'physical test'. But I really didn't see how being physically strong would help us in Abnegation. We were not the police of the factions; we were the governments.

My body was too tired to solve the riddles that seem to continuously occupy my mind, so I gave up and took out the brown paper bag I was carrying in my shoulder bag. We were all handed one package and a bottle before setting out to help the factionless. It was our lunch.

As I removed the brown paper, I found a chicken sandwich – not handmade but those frozen ones that you need to heat up before eating which meant by now it was all soggy from the oven heat and giving off an unappetizing stench, an assortment of dried fruits which thankfully looked edible, and some salted nuts. The plastic bottle contained water, and thanks to the scorching sun, it was all hot now so drinking it felt like your insides were burning.

But it was still better than the sandwich, so I munched on the fruits and nuts only. I didn't look at the others, wondering if we all got different food this time too. Then I _know_ I'll have to share mine, because Caleb was not likely to let me off the hook again.

That was when I noticed them – the factionless people, staring at use from far away, standing at the mouths of alleys and cross-roads. I sighed again.

I didn't know why I didn't expect them, because really, we were in the factionless zone, so it was natural that they would be hiding and crawling in these areas. A woman looked so longingly at me, not because she seemed hungry but because she was obviously sad over being factionless, that I got up and gave her the sandwich. I didn't want to eat it anyway.

"Really?" Christina murmured, before shaking her head and getting up to follow my example. I didn't feel guilty, because I'm sure Christina wouldn't have liked the sandwich. Will proceeded after Christina, and then Al went after them. I was feeling a little smug that I was the first one to show the kind gesture, until I saw Caleb and Susan eating only the nuts from her palms and drinking from a single bottle. Uriah was doing the same. The Dauntless girls were the only ones eating all their food.

I felt anger at Caleb bubble up inside me and wanted to scream at him for setting such high standards for me to follow. Instead, I settled for giving a sour look at him, not that he noticed.

After lunch break was over, Tobais and the other two came over to herald us into yet another factionless site. Zeke was driving the truck that would ferry us and the supplies around, and Shauna sat with him at the front. After making sure we were securely inside, Tobias joined us at the back. There was no door and the truck was moving precariously along the uneven roads, but Tobias didn't even hold on to anything to steady himself. He seemed just fine sitting at the end, even though one little shove would send him sprawling on the roads.

Once again, I couldn't help but notice the difference between him and my brother. Even in this heat, my brother preferred his dark gray slacks and vest that matched his cloak and his light gray buttoned shirt. Tobias was dressed similarly to the previous night, as was Zeke. Uriah seemed to follow his brother's style, while Will and Al chose to follow my brother. But I wasn't interested in any of them – just Tobias.

And since my perfect brother had always been the paradigm I used to judge the few other Abnegation boys I was acquainted with, it was unusual for me to be so taken with someone who seemed completely different from Caleb.

Wait, taken with him? Was I really interested in him in a romantic way or was he just a novel curiosity for someone who led as monotonous a life as I had?

Tobias looked at me suddenly, as if he could feel my eyes on him, and once more I averted my eyes, hoping he didn't notice. From between my lashes, I saw him smile – yes, this time it was actually a lopsided smile. I felt so embarrassed, and reacted the only way I knew how – I got angry.

Suddenly, I didn't care that Tobais was taller than all the men I knew, didn't care that his eyes were the most beautiful I've seen, didn't care at all how good he looked the way he dressed and how it did funny things to my insides, didn't care in the least that the smile he was currently sporting made me want to reach out and touch his full lower lips with my fingers. On the contrary, my last thought made me so mad that I wanted to physically lash out at him. Why, I had no idea.

As we got down in the next factionless zone, one by one, I was the last one to exit. My body was boiling in anger and I didn't want anyone to bear the brunt of it, so I stared at the floor while waiting for everyone to leave first. I heard rather than saw Christina wait for me, as she was one of the first ones out, but not being able to catch my eyes, she moved away.

Finally, as I made my way around with more food and clothes than I was capable of carrying, I heard someone walking along with me. Before I could get scared that it was some creepy factionless man, Tobias spoke up.

"You know, it's not your brother's fault that he's more selfless than you pretend to be."

So, that was why he was smirking? Not because he had caught me staring at him, but because he saw how I had reacted to my brother during lunch break? Well, it didn't lessen my anger any, since now it seemed we didn't have even a moment's privacy. How did he know, anyway? Where was he watching from? And what did he mean that I was _pretending_?

"Pretending?" I whirled around towards him, angrily, "You think I'm pretending to be selfless?"

"Aren't you?" Tobias asked, one eye-brow raised.

"I was _born_ in Abnegation, in case you haven't noticed!"

"So?" he scoffed, "Doesn't prove anything."

"I don't know who you think you are, but I'll _not_ let you bully me just because you think you're the big and powerful guy and I'm the poor, helpless, little female."

"I'm your _instructor_, Beatrice," he said with the familiar smirk, but his eyes suddenly seemed cold enough to freeze me to the spot. "And you'll do well to remember that."

I knew I was treading on dangerous grounds, but I felt humiliated now which usually leads me to breaking down in tears. And I didn't want to cry in front of Tobias.

"Well, and what have you really been instructing us about, _Tobias Eaton_?" I huffed with as much courage I could master. "All you've done is make us work hard like slaves and fight for food like the factionless."

He looked at me for a moment, before murmuring, "You've got quite the temper, don't you?"

I continued to glare at him, not denying what I always knew to be true.

"Careful, Tris."

With that, he turned and walked away. It was only when he was completely out of sight that I realized what he had just called me. _Tris_. Only Christina called me that. Did he know? If yes, then how? And if not…then why does Tobias have a nick name for me?

…..

We had to do this for a whole week – feed the factionless, supply them with basic necessities…and eat really bad food ourselves, while tiring our bodies to the point of exhaustion. When I was thinking about leaving my family for the Dauntless, the food was never the problem no matter how simple they were. Compared to what we got to eat now, I'm sure I'd be willing to kill for my mother's meals. And I never thought a bed could be this hard. Not to mention the clothes we girls wore – the boys had the option to don their vests and cloaks if they wanted to, whether working or traveling, but it was necessary for the girls to wear their full-sleeve tunics that reached to their ankles over knee-length camisoles or full-sleeve shirts over their own tees and pants. Just the cloak was optional, but only when working. I used to wear tunics when I was living with my family. Now I preferred the shirts and the slacks. Caleb frowned every time he saw me. I wonder if he'd have me locked up if he knew that I preferred the tank tops instead of t-shirts for underneath my buttoned shirt.

Christina and I had become really good friends over the week, bonding over our mutual resentment towards the work we were doing as initiates. Sometimes she would talk about her life in Candor, when we were not too tired that we passed out the moment our bodies hit the beads. I'm sure the other girls heard, but no one joined – Susan because she was Abnegation, Lynn and Marlene because they genuinely didn't like fraternizing with anyone. They only joined us during breakfasts and dinners, because there was only one table for initiates.

Will and Al talked a lot too, but the Dauntless kept to themselves, as did Caleb and Susan. I didn't know if it was my imagination or if Will and Christina really were flirting with each other, where else Al seemed…really into me. I hope I was wrong, not about Will and Christina because they were really very good together, but about Al. Otherwise, I would have to disappoint him, and it was already enough for me that I disappoint Caleb, though in an entirely different manner.

I liked Al, I knew that because he was a funny guy who always made me want to laugh, but I just didn't think of him in a romantic way. He was more like the brother I wished Caleb would have been. In fact, it was my belief that I didn't think of any boy or man in a romantic way at this point in my life…certainly not the tall, dark blue-eyed _instructor _who continued to make our lives hell.

Tobias and I had not talked since that day in the factionless zone. In fact, it was the only time we had ever talked with each other. He was a moody snob before then, and has gone back to being his high-and-mighty self ever since.

I had almost braced myself for more lectures from him about my Abnegation character flaws – Caleb was my brother, so I had plenty of practice – but nothing ever came. Tobias seem to do a 180 and completely ignored me from then on. Even when I stared at him openly and willed him to look my way, I was never rewarded again. He acted as if I didn't exist anymore.

Which, of course, just succeeded in fuelling the irrational anger I harbored against him. I mean, I knew he was my instructor and I should behave in a respected manner in front of him. But I simply couldn't do it. I didn't even know why I was so mad at him, because when I think back, he hasn't really done anything wrong.

"Ouch," I almost jumped in shock and pain, when someone pinched the skin above my left elbows. Christina laughed silently as I glared at her, though confusion was over-taking my face. We were having our dinner and it was one of the few times I could freely talk with her since we worked most of the day. During the first day or two, everyone would listen to others' conversations, but it has been a week now and the little cliques all kept to themselves – the Dauntless borns, Al and Will, though they joined us most of the time, Susan and Caleb, who never stopped frowning at me and I was afraid his face will be permanently stuck like that, and Christina and I.

"You have a thing for our young leader," she whispered in my ears in a sing-song voice. I turned red at the thought.

"_I do not_!" I hushed in reply, vehement in my denial.

"Oh, please! Do you know how often you stare at him?" At my huge, round-eyed expression, she gave another tinkling laugh. "It's okay, I approve." The blood on my cheeks were ready to burst out of their vessels, I was so mortified. "He's too gruff for my taste, but I can already imagine how passionate your love-making will be when you two get together."

The spoon dropped from fingers, splashing the soup on the table and on my shirt. Out of habit, my eyes automatically went to my brother, who looked cross at my careless manner. I grimaced and started to clean up with my napkin.

Christina gave a helping hand as she dabbed at the soup on the table, while trying hard to suppress a laugh. I wanted to glare at her again, but before I could do so, she motioned with her head towards the instructor's table. I knew I'll not see anything good, yet I could not keep my eyes from wandering to meet Tobias'. I didn't know what I preferred – the happiness that he was finally looking at me again, or the shame that his sardonic smile indicated, that I was a clumsy little girl.

I realized I didn't like being made fun of, so I looked away scowling, but not before I saw Zeke and Shauna suppressing the same kind of laughter that I had just seen on Christina's face.

What did that mean?

"What was _that_?" I cornered Christina, once we were in washrooms, getting ready for bed.

"Oh, Tris. You were so cute back there," the girl I was coming to think of as my best friend said, followed by her peals of laughter.

"Nobody, not even my mother, has ever talked like that to me," I huffed, partly in annoyance, but mostly in embarrassment. "_Passionate love-making_? How can you say such…such taboo words?"

"Taboo words? Right, I keep forgetting you were raised in Abnegation. Man, what I wouldn't give to witness you on the receiving end of the Candor sex-talk," Christina said, laughing openly at my horror-stricken expression at hearing the words 'sex-talk'.

"You actually _talk _about…it? Before marriage?" I was blushing so badly now that I was sure all the blood in my body has taken residence on my cheeks for the moment.

"Of course," she winked. "We are even allowed _it_, as you call it, once we are sixteen."

Okay, I was also sure that my eye-brows will never come back down from my hair-line again, as long as I have this conversation with Christina.

"Are you…? Are...did you…did you do…it, then?" I don't know why I was even asking. Fit in Abnegation or not, but this was one Abnegation rule I intended on following – no _it _before marriage.

Christina waggled her eye-brows at me. "What do you think?"

As forbidden images, not of Christina and some unnamed boy, but of Tobias pressing his full lips softly on my own ones flashed through my mind, my knees gave out and I would have almost hit the bathroom floor, if not for Christina's hand holding me upright.

"Are you okay, Tris?" she asked, clearly concerned. "I'm sorry if this is TMI for you. I was just teasing you, alright? I have never done _it_."

She smiled kindly.

But I couldn't look at her as I supported myself on the basin. I felt hot, the images still fresh on my mind.

"Let's get out of here. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, I'm sure." With that, I turned away, the bare, plastic toiletries bag in hand. I heard Christina's confused voice calling after me, but I knew I had get away and hide in the darkness of my room and blanket.

I was so eager to walk away that I hadn't noticed the tall figure making conversation with Zeke and Shauna in front of the girl and boy initiates' rooms. I crashed into his back and the impact made me sway and almost fall on my bottom…until Christina crashed into me on her haste to come after me and I was sent back at Tobias again. Only this time, he had already turned around and I landed in his arms.

Tobias held me until I could stand properly on my feet again, and then let me go like his hands were on fire. Zeke and Shauna shook with silent laughter, as did Christina.

Did I mention I was in my pajamas and the dark gray tank top I wore under my shirt?

My whole body seem to blush as my cheeks burned with embarrassment, which was getting to be a habit these days. However, I was glad to notice that Tobias' face has gone all red too.

Shauna was the first to recover. She had her cloak in her hands and she put it around my shoulder. Zeke went to the boys' room and came out, followed by the initiates. I noticed Shauna did the same with the girls. I hadn't realized all the initiates were required to present themselves in front of the instructor tonight.

"Right," Tobias began, "the reason I gathered you all here is to say that tomorrow you will be getting the results of your first stage of initiation."

Suddenly, sleep was forgotten and almost everyone were looking nervous.

"No need to fret now, since I already have the scores. I'll also be explaining the criteria tomorrow. All I wanted to say is that get a good night's sleep, because stage two of initiation will be more difficult than the first one."

With that, Tobias walked away, followed by his two friends – both of whom were smiling at me and giving me certain looks. I didn't know what to make out of that; all I knew was that I was embarrassed as hell and didn't think I would ever be able to face Tobias again.

All those worries flew out of my head when I saw that boys were giving me weird looks. Only then I realized what I was wearing – a cloak, that was obviously not mine, over a low-neck tank top though I'm sure it could have easily been mistaken for a t-shirt as no one can see my hands.

Still, even then it was not enough attire for proper Abnegation girls and my brother's livid eyes confirmed it.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**** Chapter four.**

**I really really appreciate the reviews, but I'm very sorry that I usually don't reply. I hope no one is offended by that. Having said that, two reviews brought up things that I'd like to address: **

**Honestly, I don't have much idea where I'm going with this story, other than the fact that all canon couples will end up together (though, I do have a surprise planned with a non-canon couple) and Marcus' real nature will be made public. **

**I do like the idea of Divergents having a place of their own and not, as they say, get strangled by the faction system. However, I don't plan on doing anything similar in this story, because there's no war here or price on the heads of the Divergents. It's still a little dangerous to be a Divergent in this story though, and everyone will see why in the later chapters. **

**Spoilers:**** AU story, so there should be none, though I'll occasionally be borrowing lines from the books**

**Disclaimer:**** All those tears over 'Allegiant' are proofs that these characters are not really mine ;).**

Chapter 3:

TrisPOV:

I sat sniffling in the dining hall, my eyes still red from giving in to fits of crying all throughout last night. Caleb had been so angry, and he had said some of the meanest things I'd ever heard in my life. I never even knew my kind and selfless brother could be so rude. To make things worse, he had brought the topic of my parents while admonishing me, asking me whether I had forgotten the values they had raised me with.

No matter how much I felt like Abnegation was really not where I belonged, it was never my parents' faults. They did the best they could and I would _always_ love them. So, for Caleb to even insinuate that I didn't appreciate my parents was a blow in my guts. Not to mention I had always tried to live up to Caleb's high expectations of me, so the feeling that I'd let my whole family down gave me nightmares all night long. I kept dreaming that I was stuck in our old Abnegation home, all dark, while my family gave me sad looks and murmured, "You've let us down, Beatrice. We are disappointed in you," and slowly walked out of the house.

Christina helped a lot, getting in the bed with me and stroking my tear-stained face throughout the night. Susan got me some water and tissues, to wipe my eyes and nose and said drinking the water would help me to feel better.

What was surprising was that even Lynn and Marlene joined us, giving up their sleep and sitting at the foot of my bed. Marlene confessed that all the girls heard Caleb's harsh whispers when he was scolding me outside the girls' room. Lynn even went as far as to call Caleb some choice words, which immediately got Christina started and the two seemed to bond over what would be suitable punishment for Caleb.

So here I sat, with a brother who wouldn't even look at me, but with more friends than I had in my whole life.

It was all a bit awkward, since the table was a rectangular one, but quite small. Uriah and Marlene sat on one of the shorter sides, with Caleb opposite them. I sat on the corner beside Marlene on the longer side, followed by Christina and then Lynn. Will sat directly opposite me, then Al, and Susan. Will and Al had no idea what was going on and looked at us all, feeling the tension; Marlene told Uriah so he gave me a small kind smile, and Susan kept her head bowed while Christina and Lynn just glared at Caleb.

"Alright, listen up," Zeke boomed from the instructors' table, "Now that hopefully you all had a grand time resting," from the way his eyes lit up as it glided over our faces, it was obvious that he knew we didn't get any eye-shut last night, "We will be announcing the scores shortly. So finish the food left on your plates, or Shauna will get pissed off and let you all starve and die," he finished with a wink and laughter.

I had been so busy working the last few days, I had no idea it was Shauna who was in charge of our foul-tasting meals. I should have known, because it was not like the Abnegation kept cooks or anything. We always heated our own meals before eating. Well, either Shauna was really bad at meal planning, or all these were a part of our initiation.

"Before I put up the scores, I just want to remind you that this is _final_. So, anyone who's not satisfied should start working harder in the next stage instead of whining about it. Your government handed us the duty to test and judge you, so _we_ have the authority here. And it will not bode well for anyone of you to question the system. That's simply not what a true Abnegation does."

It was downright unnerving how scary Tobias sounded. If I didn't already know that he was Abnegation born, I would have thought he had transferred from Dauntless too. And this made me wonder – what made Tobias so hard and unyielding?

Sure, he was too young to be a leader, so maybe the pressure of being a government council member has taken a toll on him and he was reacting by taking his anger out on us. I had seen my father return home all tired and frustrated too. Even Marcus seemed to have an edge to him. But at the end of the day, they still behaved like Abnegation men – kind and selfless.

Tobias, on the other hand…

The truth was he was not cruel towards us, just very strict. That was what I found so intriguing about him – that there seemed to be nothing soft about him, not in his manners, nor in his flesh. His speeches were short and to the point, while his body was all big and hard angles.

I grew up with two men in my house and there was Robert and his father down the street. Marcus and other council members came to our house sometimes to discuss government work, while I knew a few Abnegation boys of my age in school. All seemed similar to me…and none of them looked anything like Tobias.

In fact, Tobias seemed like a grown-up version of those brave and daring Dauntless teenagers I used to secretly admire at school. Grown-up because unlike those crazy teens, Tobias never laughed. It was almost too easy, to picture Tobias in all black garments and covered in ink. It seemed to fit him better than the gray. Maybe he knew that too, hence his preference for dark gray clothing.

"Either you're not worried about your ranking, or lover-boy is all you need to get over your nightmares," Christina gave a short loud laughed, but then tried to mask it with coughing. I guess I was staring again.

_Tobias_ was staring again too. And frowned.

Did he think I had been crying because I was afraid about my scores? I really hoped my red eyes and runny nose didn't seem all puffy, and that he was not disgusted and found my behavior childish.

"Having said that," he continued as he made his way towards our table, "I assure you that all of you were judged unbiasedly. It was purely based on what we are looking for, and whether you are capable of fulfilling our requirements."

Then Tobias stood beside Caleb and leaned down to place the palms of both his hands on the table, while looking at each initiate. I could feel a shiver run down the length of my spine. "And although we don't discriminate, but because this was the physical stage, your size and strength were taken into consideration. If you're tall and healthy, you were judged more critically," he looked at Al and Caleb then, "and if you're small and skinny, then we were a bit lenient on you," he finished as his eyes passed over Lynn and then settled on me.

"Here are your scores," Zeke announced as he put a big black board so that we could all see the rankings from where we were sitting.

Al

Caleb

Uriah

Marlene

Will

Christina

Lynn

Beatrice

Susan

The results were not really surprising, if we thought about our physical structures and our backgrounds, given that this stage judged how much our bodies could endure. Though I was surprised not to come last, but maybe I was not as weak as I thought? I looked at Susan, feeling a little guilty, but also a little smug that I was not at the bottom of the pool. Naturally, my eyes shifted to Tobias' who was still leaning between Caleb, and the little tug at the corners of his lips told me that he knew exactly how I was feeling.

I looked away, ashamed, but then frowned. I was very sure Tobias knew exactly how I was feeling, but how can he if he was a true Abnegation? An Abnegation born never boasted about his supremacy, and even though I didn't scream it at Susan, but that was exactly how I was feeling. Maybe being older meant Tobias was really good at reading people. Caleb certainly was, but only when it came to me since he practically brought me up. Ever the perfect older brother.

Thinking about him made me hurt and angry again.

"Now that you know your scores, start preparing for the second stage. We've not planned anything for today, so you lot have the rest of the day off."

I got up immediately to escape my brother - and a certain other man I may or may not be a little infatuated with – but didn't get far until I heard someone call out my name.

It was Caleb.

I loved my brother, I really did, and if it was possible for me, I would be exactly the kind of Abnegation-approved girl he wanted me to be. But at that moment, I just hated him for hurting me like that. I knew I was going against Abnegation rules again, but we were not back in our home, plus Caleb broke them first when he scolded me – Abnegation asked to treat older people with respect and younger people with kindness.

"Beatrice!" he called again, but I heard someone stop him. I looked back a little to see that Uriah was blocking his way, with Marlene and Lynn joining him on each said. Then Christina spoke from behind him, "She doesn't want to talk to you. And if you ever shout at her again, you'll have to deal with us."

Will and Al stood there dumb-founded, until Christina went over and whispered something to them. I turned and walked away, feeling the Dauntless follow me. I decided to get out of the building and saw a patch of green just within a walking distance from our current abode. It was sunny outside, but I didn't mind. It felt refreshing to get out and breathe after last night's incidents with Caleb.

As I unfolded myself in the large over-grown patch of grass enclosed by concrete, I saw Uriah, Lynn and Marlene sit beside me. I smiled at them, and soon Christina, Al and Will joined us. It was when I saw Susan making her way towards us that the whole thing started to feel surreal to me. Still, I couldn't help the smile that stretched across my face, imagining Caleb's horrified expression at the moment.

…..

It was a great bonding exercise for us initiates, marred only slightly as one of us was missing, but we talked and laughed a lot. Abnegations didn't indulge in movies or music or any kind of recreational activities, so we had to enjoy our little get-together playing what the Dauntless called party games. They said there were some really over the top ones, like 'strip poker' and 'truth or dare' – the Candors and Erudite seem to have played them before, but since Susan and I looked blankly at everyone, we settled for was called 'get to know you' game.

In this one, each person had to share one personal information that they would rather keep a secret.

Uriah admitted that until that moment, he had hated being in Abnegation. It made me want to ask him the reason behind his choosing this faction, but I didn't.

Al, on the other hand, said he felt completely at home in Abnegation. We all looked at him, shocked, even Susan who usually likes to keep her eyes down. Christina then joked it was only because Al was ranked first.

Christina herself revealed that she has never been kissed because she wanted it to be special and hence waiting for the right person. Then she proceeded to look pointedly at Will, who turned visibly red, but looked like Christmas had come early this year. I guess now I knew why Christina was in this faction – she was more Abnegation than she realized. I felt happy because now I could completely relate to my best friend.

Lynn admitted that she was pissed at Shauna because even though they were sisters, the elder girl didn't reveal any secrets about the Abnegation initiation. At our incredulous expression that she considered cheating, Lynn simply shrugged.

Marlene said all she ever wanted was food. As long as there was food and Uriah in her life, she can die happy. Lynn didn't look too happy at this; I guess the shorter Dauntless didn't like to think of her friend dying.

Will, unlike an Erudite but like a Candor, expressed that he joined Abnegation in hopes of working for the government. He said he was tired of his old faction attacking the council members, so he wanted to work in Abnegation and help the factionless. Christina was impressed, and so was I – because Will already seemed like a better Abnegation than me.

Susan, though very quiet at first when it was her turn, finally stated that she was very happy to have met so many new people and make new friends.

I was the last one to go; I guess because the whole purpose of the exercise was to cheer me up. As I looked at them all, being so funny and wonderful to me, I wondered what secret I could reveal to them. I was an Abnegation, so there wasn't anything to keep a secret. We just didn't have that kind of emotional luxuries.

In fact, the only secret I ever had in my life was that…I was Divergent. That and…

I sat straight, shoulders up and stomach stuck in, and then breathed deeply. My face was full of determination as I said in a low but sure voice: "I have a crush on Tobias."

For a full minute, no one uttered a single sound, like they had gone all mute. Only Christina seemed to be vibrating…and that's when everyone burst out laughing. Their laughter was so infectious that I couldn't help but join in, even though I had gone my usual tomato-red whenever Tobias is near or mentioned.

…..

I felt so light, so happy as we went back inside. It was almost lunch time and it got too hot stay out of doors. And we were Abnegation, so we always had some work to finish. I don't remember making my bed this morning, and I don't think others did either. So, yes, there was always something left to do.

When we went inside though, no one was more surprised than me when Tobias walked towards us and addressed me.

"Beatrice, do you have a minute? I would like to talk to you about something important regarding initiation."

If I was in a more sane state of mind, I would have immediately started worrying about being thrown out of the faction or something equally serious. After all, that was what usually an instructor might want to discuss in private with his initiate. But I was a complete nutter where Tobias was concerned, so I merely bobbed my head up and down slowly, my mouth still slightly parted.

The others left me with him as they made their way to the rooms and I was sure I could hear Christina and Marlene giggle.

"Follow me."

I walked after him, as if in a daze, and entered one of those small rooms I knew belonged to the instructors. Only, it was an office room, and not a bedroom as I had originally thought.

I stood in front of the desk, while he went around to face me, but instead of sitting down on his chair, he remained standing. Arms folded at the front, Tobias looked almost dangerous as his muscles bulged beneath his gray t-shirt. I was sure one punch of his could even knock out Al for good. Why was he not in Dauntless?

"This is Abnegation," he said, as though he was reading my mind. I was totally mortified because it meant he knew I was checking him out. "You remember that, don't you?"

"Yes," I breathed out, my embarrassment hindering my talking capabilities.

"Well, then, as an Abnegation born, it was totally wrong of you to disrespect your elder brother like that, especially in front of all the new initiates."

So that was why he was reminding me of my faction – not because he could read my mind, but because of the incident during breakfast. I was too relieved to care, until what he said registered in my mind. Tobias brought me in his office to _scold_ me? As if having Caleb in my life was not enough, now I had to deal with him too?

"Now all the transfer initiates will think it is okay to scorn others, and that is _not_ what Abnegation stands for."

If I was not embarrassed, then I was angry. Tobias seemed to bring out only these two emotions in me. For a very brief moment I wonder if he'd ever make me happy, or as Christina said, passionate, but my curse was taking over me now which quickly shoved away any good feelings I had about the man in front of me.

"You called me in here to _lecture_ me?" I muttered angrily.

Tobias frowned.

"What right have you got over me to think you can tell me what to do?"

"Tris…be careful what you say."

"Don't patronize me! This is _not_ initiation. You said it yourself that we were free for the day. We can do whatever we like. I _can_ do whatever I like."

He just stood there, completely still, with eyes revealing nothing, as he stared at me. His calm demeanor enraged me even more as I could feel the anger – which was a result of the pain I suffered that I had disappointed yet another person I cared for - boiling inside me.

"So you can shove your lectures down your throat and don't even dare to bother me until you've removed the stick that's lodged up your ass!"

If I could shoot lightning bolts out of my eyes, Tobias would have been dead on the spot.

"When not in initiation, I am me – Beatrice. Not a child for you to discipline. So stop telling me what to do. I am 16, not a baby!"

One minute he was standing in front of his desk, the next moment I was shoved against the closed door, with Tobias standing over me. With his six feet frame, he practically blocked everything in my line of sight, until all I could see was Tobias.

I knew I was small, but Tobias made me feel like a twelve year old. I refused to be intimated by him though, so when he stared down at me, I stared right back.

"No, you're not a kid," he gritted out. "What you are is a complication, and I don't need one of those in my life right now." With that, he abruptly moved away, and turned around to lead on his desk with one hand, while with the other he pinched the space between his closed eyes.

"If only you were just like the other girls," Tobias said softly, as if speaking to himself.

But I heard him.

And I didn't know what he meant, but my mind was filled with painful memories of by brother scolding me for breaking rules, and asking why I couldn't be just like other girls – other good, well-behaved, perfect Abnegation girls.

Even before I could stop it, a lone tear made its way out of the corner of my eyes. And I knew if I didn't get away from here soon, I'd be bawling my eyes off right in front of Tobias. But I hated him so much at this moment for making me so vulnerable, that I couldn't leave without having the upper-hand.

"Don't _you_ dare tell what kind of girl I should be. I already have a brother, I don't need another."

And once more, Tobias was flushed against me. His hands gripped my arms so tight that they were sure to leave bruises behind. His jaw was set and I could hear him grind his teeth.

This time though, I could see the anger rising, as if vaporizing off his skin.

"I don't want to be your _brother_."

I knew his answer would change both our lives even before I asked him.

"What do you want from me then?"

Instead of replying, he just looked up and muttered "I'm going to hell anyway, so why not?"

And then his lips were on mine.

It was not the soft, sweet and gentle kiss I had envisioned when talking with Christina yesterday. Instead, it was hard, rough, bloody - I nicked his lower lip with my teeth and he hungrily forced his entrance, our lips and mouths and tongues molding and loving each other in their own new dance. It was not the first kiss I had hoped for…it was better!

_Passionate._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**** Chapter five.**

**Someone asked for a Tobias POV, and I do believe it's about time, so that we can see where he was coming from and what he was feeling when he kissed Tris. Naturally, this chapter is a bit long as we see the evolution through his eyes of the Tobias/Beatrice…dare we call it, relationship ;) ?**

**Once again, I really appreciate it that you guys take the time out to read, and even review, so in order to keep you from getting disappointed, I'd like to mention again that future updates may not come this fast. Thank you :).**

**Spoilers:**** Based on Divergent, so yeah.**

**Disclaimer:**** All belongs to the heartbreaker…nope, not FOUR…but Veronica Roth ;).**

Chapter 4:

TobiasPOV:

"Ready, bro?" Zeke asked, as he came and stood beside the desk in what was to be my new office for the next month or so.

I was looking out the window, my back to him. There was no great scenery outside which would demand my attention. Nope, it was out of habit. Two years since I escaped the hell-hole, and still nothing made me more calm than to watch the light filtering through the little window. It was once my only beacon of hope; and even though I was free now from Marcus Eaton's swinging belt and stuffy closet, it still gave me reassurance that a better day awaits me.

Marcus Eaton. I grimaced at the thought of seeing him today.

"To lay eyes upon my father? Not even close," I sighed, turning towards my best-friend.

Zeke knew my deal with Marcus. He was the only one. Not even Shauna was aware about my childhood, except that Marcus and I didn't see eye-to-eye.

"You see him every week at the council meetings."

"Along with 48 other people. Today, there will be just Shauna and you."

"And Andrew Prior. Unless his children defects…"

I scoffed.

"They won't. I've seen them a few times – the perfect little Abnegation family."

There was an edge to my voice as I said it. It's not that I hated the Priors; I was just jealous because my family was different from theirs.

"Look, man," Zeke began, "I just…I really wanted to thank you for doing this, alright?"

He and I were initiates together, and though we had hit it off immediately two years back, Zeke and I _knew_ we were different. A leap of faith, and we both confessed that we were coached for our aptitude tests so that we both get Abnegation. Neither of us were sure whether we were Divergents, but our parents definitely feared that we might be, hence we were taught how to cheat in the test.

That was where our similarities ended though. Zeke didn't have the troubled past as me. Nope, he had a loving family that wanted to protect him, so he defected from Dauntless. I had a sadist father who wanted to control me, so I was asked to remain in Abnegation.

I stayed for entirely different reasons. And I even knew what to do with Marcus now, how to expose him. Just needed a little more time to gather some final evidence.

"That's what friends are for," I smiled slightly at him. Zeke nodded.

Once I managed to come first in my initiation class, and was made a member in the council in charge of running the government, I decided to find some of that serum used in our aptitude tests. The serums came from the Erudite, and I was surprised how easy it was to get my hands on them. The Erudites were not wrong for attacking – the governing faction did have corruption running through it. Under the supervision of the man who had sired me.

That was why I hadn't felt guilty about stealing some of the serum. It may have been created by the Erudites, but I stole from Marcus Eaton. Zeke also wanted to test himself and see if he made different choices, and it was he who contacted Tori. She was reluctant at first, but then decide to help us out both.

Turned out, Zeke was Dauntless, after all.

But I was Divergent. I picked the knife, but instead of killing the dog, I had let it attack me. I only threw myself in its path when the dog charged after the little girl. I was fit for both Abnegation…and Dauntless. Divergent.

When through Tori, Zeke's parents found out about him, they feared then his brother would be the one who didn't conform, that Uriah might end up as the one considered dangerous in our societies.

And that was why I volunteered, along with Zeke so Shauna tagged along – we needed a female anyway, to oversee the initiations of the new Abnegation joiners. As a government council member, I could keep Uriah's reports to myself and no one would question it. Otherwise, other council members would be sure to report to Marcus if they saw anything abnormal.

"Boys?" Shauna announced from the doorway, "Marcus Eaton is here."

…..

He wanted to have the upper hand, I could tell. Although as a fellow council member he should have shared the information about the number of initiates who will be joining us, Marcus Eaton just remained quiet. No words had passed his lips, but he had been furious when the government council accepted my application to train the initiates – I had seen it in his eyes.

Marcus Eaton knew better than to come after me. All the factions relied heavily on Erudite serums, and their new Truth serum was highly effective. Whether on him or me, testing either of us would reveal the ugly truth about Marcus Eaton's character.

Not to mention once Zeke found out I was a candidate for Dauntless too, he trained me hard to overcome my fears. The nightmares couldn't be helped, but I was not afraid of my father's belt anymore. If it came down to a physical match, I could overthrow him with one hand. The evidence was in my body, my hands, in my stance. And I was not afraid to show it – I forgo the cloak unless it was a formal occasion.

And Marcus Eaton was too shrewd to not notice. So, he started coming after me through other means. Like now. His presence was not required as I was already here and Andrew Prior would be joining soon. But to assert his position over both of us, Marcus Eaton was welcoming the initiates himself.

…..

She was not the first one I noticed. Not even close. Even from afar, I automatically dismissed the little gray-clad group and concentrated on the black-attired ones. I knew there would two at least, Zeke and Shauna's siblings. The third was a mystery, but not so much as seeing Candors and even an Erudite.

'She' was the little Abnegation girl who couldn't seem to keep her eyes to herself. That was when I had my first good look at her. So tiny that the top of her head barely reached my shoulders, her eyes seem to demand my exclusive attention. It wasn't that she was pretty, for I had seen girls who were more beautiful, but there was something attractive about her – something that threw me for a loop, something that all I could do was take in her every little details, something that made the region in my chest do weird things that I was completely unfamiliar with.

…..

I tried to dismiss her – Beatrice Prior - from my mind. But it was hard to do when I was _supposed_ to be looking at her. Her and all the other initiates. It was a trial run, to familiarize the transfer initiates about being selfless, about Abnegation. None of them were aware, though the Abnegation born should act selflessly anyway.

But she wasn't.

Not even when her brother clearly indicated for her to do so.

An alarm went off in my mind. I was already aware of Uriah's 'could-be-Divergent' status; that was the reason I volunteered to be the initiates' instructor for the first time in my life. But what if there were more than one Divergent this year? And she was from Abnegation; according to Jeanine Mathews confidential reports, she claimed most Divergents came from the governing faction. She had no concrete proof, but from her IQ, it was clear Jeanine Matthews was no fool. I had not bothered with those reports until I realized how much my father was trying to cover-up her claims as baseless research. Erudites released hundreds of researches, quite a few of them attacking Abnegation and even Amity. Marcus Eaton didn't bother with any of them, except for the Divergent report.

I'd need to keep a special eye on her, it seemed.

…..

The first initiation test was the physical one, and it was actually the easiest of all the three. Abnegation didn't require muscle power, but strength was tested to see if anyone would be able to defend the faction if push came to shove. Abnegation were the governments, and it was the leader's duty to protect his people by any and all means possible. Although we ranked them from #1, but no Abnegation ever had the fitness required to make it to the first place in overall initiation rankings…not until me.

I guess it was the one thing I should thank Marcus for. His daily beatings gave me nightmares, but it also gave me the physical power that I finished my daily initiation labor in half the time. Zeke had a hand in it too, for even though we were the best of friends, we always competed against each other. So that was another incentive for me to push my body to unknown limits, until I would break.

Judging from the first half of their first day in physical labor, no Abnegation initiates this year were likely to get a good score. Uriah could have done it, but he had to keep faking it just in case.

And so was she.

I didn't know why I refused to think of her by her name; it felt like the name didn't suit her. Oh, it suit Andrew Prior's daughter, the girl I had glimpsed and dismissed in my previous life. It suit the girl who was an ideal Abnegation daughter, in an ideal Abnegation family. It suit the girl in the grey tunics, with the downcast eyes.

But not the girl in shirt and pants, whose eyes take me prisoner and never lets me go.

I just can't seem to stop staring at her. As I sit in the Abnegation control room that monitors the factionless, all I see is her. Her rebellion as she fights her nature and tried to be selfless. The only true selfless work she did the whole morning was offer part of her lunch to the factionless woman.

She worried me. She was displaying characteristics of multiple factions.

"Why you frowning, man?" Zeke asked as he joined me. "Is it Uriah?"

"Nope. Her," I replied, nodding to the screen that showed a pissed of girl staring daggers at her brother.

"Beatrice?"

"Have you ever seen an Abnegation express their emotions in public?"

Zeke whistled. "And at her brother too. Divergent?"

"Need to find out, won't we?"

…..

I could almost feel her eyes command me to look at her. It was like I had a sixth sense that was only attuned to her. But as my eyes shifted to her face, she looked away.

Even if I tried, I couldn't have stopped the smile that took over my lips – because though the interior of the truck was dark, I could see her cheeks turning red.

It felt like a compulsion now; I _had_ to talk to her. So, I took the first opportunity I got.

"You know, it's not your brother's fault that he's more selfless than you pretend to be."

She turned to me, looking all captivating and…angry?

"Pretending? You think I'm pretending to be selfless?"

"Aren't you?" I was sure she was well aware that selflessness was not in her nature.

"I was _born_ in Abnegation, in case you haven't noticed!"

I had no idea why she was so furious with me, or why her being less than nice to me was starting to make me annoyed. "So? Doesn't prove anything."

"I don't know who you think you are, but I'll _not_ let you bully me just because you think you're the big and powerful guy and I'm the poor, helpless, little female."

Okay, now I was angry myself. I certainly didn't think of her as helpless and I most certainly was _not_ a bully.

"I'm your _instructor_, Beatrice," I replied as calmly as I could, which wasn't easy but thinking of her as just another Abnegation girl, rather than the one that occupied my mind, certainly helped. "And you'll do well to remember that."

"Well, and what have you really been instructing us about, _Tobias Eaton_? All you've done is make us work hard like slaves and fight for food like the factionless."

I wanted to remind her that what she considered wrong was all part of her initiation, but the only part my mind could grasp was that she had said my name. And as cheesy as it sounded, but I've never heard my name sound so beautiful.

I wanted to smile, I wanted to hold her, take her in my arms, do…what an instructor shouldn't really be thinking about doing with his initiate. So, I settled for:

"You've got quite the temper, don't you?"

She just looked at me with fire in her eyes.

"Careful, Tris."

That was it. That was what suited her – that was the name…the perfect name for my little hellion.

...

"Was _that_ supposed to be flirtation?" Shauna asked me the moment I had returned to the control room. She didn't work in there even when not helping out for initiation, but being Zeke's girlfriend meant she had entrance privileges. I ignored her, as I did most of the time whenever she went into her 'need-to-act-like-a-girl' mode.

"And here I thought you were only keeping an eye to find if she was Divergent," Zeke laughed. I glared.

"Out. Both of you. I'm here now; I can take care of the control room." Concise. To the point. End of discussion.

Zeke simply shook his head as he and Shauna left, but not before I heard her mutter something like _I hate that guy sometimes_.

…..

The week went by more or less the same way. I didn't talk with Tris again, but I watched her every action from the control room. I always watched her.

Zeke found the whole thing funny, but he was wise enough to keep his mouth shut in front of me. Shauna left me alone most of the time too, but she'd drop stupid advices now and then, about the things I needed to do to get the girl.

"_Send her flowers; girls love flowers."_

"_Chocolate is always the answer. I can use my connection to smuggle some from the Dauntless compound."_

"_How about a teddy bear? It will show her that you can actually be nice once every few years."_

"_Read her poetry. No, write her a love song. Trust me, a well versed song can lead to sexyyy times."_

I wanted to strangle her. Don't know what I was thinking, letting Shauna join to help out with the girl initiates. All she did was just supervise meals; Shauna spent the rest of her time making out with Zeke in secret or making my life hell.

Stupid Dauntless born. Didn't she know I didn't need to do anything to _get_ the girl?

That Tris was already _mine_?

…..

Meal times were my torture sessions. Because I knew Tris would stare at me, but I had vowed to avoid her. She was still an initiate, and I'd jeopardize more than her future by showing her the slightest preference, much less actually getting involved with her.

Tonight though, there seemed to be some commotion in her table. Tris seemed to have dropped her spoon and was looking redder than usual. I smiled.

Who knew my Tris could actually be clumsy even while sitting down?

Zeke and Shauna started sniggering and I scowled at them.

"Dude, you look love-sick. And it's been what, a week only? Have you actually even had a proper conversation with the girl?"

"Why, love, don't you remember? He had all of _one_ whole conversation with her!"

And these was why I would never work with two simultaneously again – they enjoyed having fun at my expense far too much.

"Shut up, you two," I gritted out.

When the couple didn't stop, I decided it was time to have a talk with the initiates. The first stage of tests were over and I had already ranked them according their performances. The plan was to give them a break tomorrow, after announcing the results. Then we could start on stage two from the day after.

Seeing that it had been a few minutes since all the initiates left the dining hall, I got up to make my way towards their rooms. Zeke and Shauna scrambled to keep up with me.

But I was the one left all scatterbrained when in front of the initiates room, a very inappropriately dressed Tris bumped into my back, and would have hit the ground if Christina didn't intentionally send her back again, this time in my arms.

Touching her made me feel like I had been electrocuted; and like a lunatic, l craved the sensation. I knew if I didn't let her go immediately, I would really be putting us both in a compromising position. And that wasn't something I wanted to do in front of her brother.

Thankfully, unlike me, Shauna had not taken leave of her senses, and quickly covered up Tris before fetching the girls, while Zeke called the boys.

I had no idea what I actually told the initiates; I knew what I was supposed to – about first stage and rankings and day-offs. But my mind only registered one face – Tris.

…..

The morning was horrible for me. Previous night's euphoria had been replaced with all things that could go wrong if Tris and I got together. To start with, I didn't even know if Tris actually liked me or not. I knew she liked _looking_ at me, but that didn't mean she wanted me as her boyfriend.

Why would she? I was two years older than her. Didn't she say I was a big bully? Maybe that was how she saw me.

And even if by some miracle, Tris was interested in me even a fraction of how infatuated I was with her, it still didn't solve the problem of her being my initiate.

My father would have a field day if he found out. He would manipulate Andrew Prior and the whole council into thinking that I was taking advantage of my position. It wouldn't matter that Tris was legal now or that what I felt for her way more than my need for a female body.

I would not only be the youngest leader in government history then, I would also end up as the short-lived leader who was ousted from the council with the most scandalous crime. And nothing would even compare to the humiliation Tris would have to face – even if we never kissed, she'd still be considered the lowliest of woman…and thrown out of the faction.

I couldn't let Tris become factionless.

…..

I was determined to remain aloof and professional, and throughout the morning, I succeeded.

Except on those few occasions when I couldn't help but stare at Tris. She really wasn't good Abnegation material, was she? Not if she was proud to have outdone Susan.

But happiness was not her strongest emotion this morning; pain was. And from the way Caleb was getting the cold shoulder, he must be the reason behind Tris' vengeful eyes.

…..

"You have to talk to her."

"Shauna," I began, exasperated, "No offense, but I don't need relationship advice fr…"

"Not about _you_ and Beatrice, idiot. About the scene in the dining hall this morning. Caleb shouldn't have to be humiliated in front of everyone like that. That's not how things work in Abnegation. And if Beatrice, born and brought up in Abnegation, exercises such rule-breakings, then not only will others follow, but her Divergence will become obvious too."

I knew I had to correct Tris and guide her carefully, because there was no doubt in my mind.

She was Divergent.

…..

"Beatrice, do you have a minute? I would like to talk to you about something important regarding initiation," I said in my best instructor Tobias voice. She was all doe-eyed innocence, as her friends left her side, some of them giggling.

What was going on? What had they been _doing_ outside?

Warning bells went off inside my head. Abnegations don't simply hang out with one another and _giggle_. I hoped no one picked up on Tris' irregular Abnegation characteristics. The Erudite – Will - might. It was of utmost importance to me that I keep her safe. Zeke can look after Uriah.

"Follow me," I asked her curtly, as I went inside my office.

For some reason, she seemed to be in seem in daze, like she was on auto-pilot and not sure what she was doing. Well, that kind of behavior would get her in trouble if she was not careful.

"This is Abnegation. You remember that, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Well, then, as an Abnegation born, it was totally wrong of you to disrespect your elder brother like that, especially in front of all the new initiates. Now all the transfer initiates will think it is okay to scorn others, and that is _not_ what Abnegation stands for."

I could literally see Tris' features change from subdued to burning hot.

"You called me in here to _lecture_ me?"

I frowned. How did she keep up with her constant mood swings?

"What right have you got over me to think you can tell me what to do?

Every right, I wanted to mutter.

"Tris…be careful what you say."

"Don't patronize me! This is _not_ initiation. You said it yourself that we were free for the day. We can do whatever we like. I _can_ do whatever I like."

No, she couldn't. Even the brave Dauntless couldn't do what they really wanted. Freedom was allowed, but only up to a certain point. It was all an illusions really. Because once this free will became a liability to the men in power, people tended to end up dead.

In all factions.

"So you can shove your lectures down your throat and don't even dare to bother me until you've removed the stick that's lodged up your ass!"

Did she just…insult _me_?

"When not in initiation, I am me – Beatrice. Not a child for you to discipline. So stop telling me what to do. I am 16, not a baby!"

Really, it was just meant to be a scare tactic. No matter how much she unintentionally had me wrapped around her little finger, there was no way I was going to let her insult me and get away with it. But the moment I had my body pressed against hers, I knew I was in trouble.

All kinds of trouble – Marcus included, because he would surely come after her to hurt me. I couldn't let that happen.

And Tris was right, she was no child. For the body flushed against mine might have been small, but it was perfectly proportionate. The swells of her hips burned my fingers, and her soft flesh pressed against my hard body, lighting me on fire.

"No, you're not a kid. What you are is a complication, and I don't need one of those in my life right now."

I moved away quickly before I embarrassed us both.

What was it with this girl? What was it about Tris that I had resisted older, more beautiful girls, but couldn't stay away from this young slip of a thing? More curvaceous girls couldn't arouse me, but I got hard just standing close to Tris?

And if she was 'the One', then why couldn't she come in my life at a more appropriate time? I was on a mission to destroy Marcus, dammit, and I didn't need distractions. And yet it felt like the Fates had sent the vixen from Hell to torture me to my death.

Everything would have been so much easier if Tris was not so special.

"If only you were just like the other girls," I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I leaned against my desk with one hand.

"Don't _you_ dare tell what kind of girl I should be. I already have a brother, I don't need another."

Brother? _Brother?_

Was the girl completely stupid? Did she think I got all and bothered around her because I wanted to be her _brother_?

My thoughts regarding Tris were so deviant that even Hell would need a cold shower to calm itself down.

"I don't want to be your _brother_," I gritted out, aware that my hands were digging on her flesh.

"What do you want from me then?"

Tris needed to be taught a lesson. This girl needed to learn that if she played with fire, she would get burnt. I didn't care anymore what she felt for me, _whether_ she felt anything for me.

I wanted her and I _will_ have her.

"I'm going to hell anyway, so why not?" I muttered as I looked up to some unknown deity, before crashing my lips on her. On a subconscious level, I knew I should go easy on her; she was 16 and Abnegation, so it was most likely her first kiss.

But then she bit me hard enough to draw blood, and all gentlemanly emotions left me. She liked it rough, did she? Well, then, her prayers were about to be answered.

And I let loose.

All the fire I had seen in her, all the desire burning in my flesh, the unspoken words, the forbidden touches, all things prohibited by rules, all that were denied by society…I couldn't hold anything inside me any longer and poured everything in the kiss.

**A/N 2:**** Well…so that was it. I actually found it difficult to write Tobias' POV, because while I could relate to Tris as a girl, the same couldn't be said of him. I'm not sure if guys actually think so romantically/passionately, haha.**

**And this chapter left me feeling very tired, so there might be more mistakes in it than usual.**

**Also, I'm sorry if Tobias seemed a little insensitive towards the end. Let's not forget that while Theo James makes the perfect Four, book Tobias is only 18. So, in this story, what we see is a healthy 18 year old, red-blooded male…who's a virgin…finally with the girl he wants ;).**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:**** Chapter six. **

**It's probably my least favorite chapter so far. Maybe because it's a filler chapter that I knew I had to put out there for the story to progress. **

**Spoilers:**** The Divergent Trilogy, of course.**

**Disclaimer:**** Veronica Roth gave life to it!**

Chapter 5:

TrisPOV:

"_Get out."_

"_Wha…?" I panted, dazed and confused, as my body continued to cling to Tobias'._

_He pushed away from me and turned around, breathing hard._

"_Get out of here," he exhaled. "And don't mention this to anyone. No one. Do you understand?"_

_Tobias was sending me away? After that _kiss_? Just like that?_

"_Do you?" he whispered harshly, still looking away._

_My eyes watered and suddenly it was all too much. I couldn't bear the pain. I put both my hands over my mouth before the sob could escape me, and just muttered an incoherent 'mmhmm', before running away from his office._

…..

I guess I had my answer. Tobias _could_ make me happy, but what I hadn't counted on was that he could hurt me too.

I hadn't known where I was going, just that I needed to get away. It was not like this morning when I was happy to have the company of my friends. No, this time I knew I wanted to be left alone. If I was back home, I would just hide in my room.

But I had never been upset this way before. It was all new to me…and it hurt like hell. I knew I told Tobias that I was not a child, but at this moment I felt like one. And I wished my mother was here to make me feel all better.

Going home was not an option, though. Initiates were not supposed to see their families until all three stages of initiation were over and their rankings were released. My parents would not understand the heartache I was feeling, and I was done disappointing everyone for the day.

So here I was, sitting near the train tracks that passed through the city. One of the many things that I found attractive about the Dauntless was that they traveled by trains. No one else did it, only them. And the trains never stopped. Yet I had never seen a Dauntless left behind. They always found their way in and rode away.

I wondered if I could also just hop in and glide away. But I guess I was over a week too late for the Dauntless initiation.

A noise alerted me that I was not the only one around. Someone was behind me and the sky was already darkening, the night swallowing the evening sky. Fearing it was some factionless man, I clenched my hands and whirled around, ready to attack and defend myself.

It was Tobias.

His eye revealed nothing but blankness, and I hated that look. I wanted to know what he was feeling, I wanted him to shout at me for disappearing without telling anyone, I wanted him to get mad at me…just so that I could lash out at him too.

But other than taking in my fighting stance, Tobias remained a statue.

"There you are," Shauna came running towards me. "Are you alright? What _are_ you doing here? You gave us all quite a fright, you know? You friends are worried sick back at the initiates' center and your brother is devastated."

All of a sudden, I was feeling guilty. I was so engrossed in myself that I had not thought of my friends, my family. It was easy to picture myself getting lost among the Dauntless, but I needed to remember that I had stayed back because I couldn't stand to be parted from my family.

"Come now, let us get the girl back home," Zeke murmured, as he stood beside Tobias and kept sneaking glances between the two of us.

"…_don't mention this to anyone…"_

I guess Zeke and Shauna didn't know. Tobias not only wanted me to keep the secret, but he was staying mum too. I couldn't come up with a reason why…unless I did something wrong. Maybe he hated the kiss? Maybe that was why he didn't want anyone to know about us.

Feeling miserable all over again, I followed Shauna into the truck. She got in the back with me, while Zeke and Tobias sat the front. It was a quiet ride, but a quick one.

Soon, I was engulfed by my friends, and I actually smiled. It was good to see so many people cared about me. Someone was standing apart, as if not sure whether he was welcome or not, and I decided to put him out of his misery.

"Beatrice," he said softly, "I'm sorry for all the things I said last night."

"No, you're not," I replied, "but I love you anyway."

With that, I engulfed him in a hug. Caleb was my brother, and he'd always be a part of me, just like my family.

"Don't leave like that again, ever!" he murmured in my hair, awkwardly returning the hug. Abnegation rules and all.

"Will you miss me if I did?"

"I don't know," Caleb said, pulling away. "But I never want to find out." I knew that was his way of saying he loved me too, and I wasn't about to get picky where or what form love came in. Having been rejected in my first ever romantic love affair, I was going to take all the love I could get elsewhere.

…..

When Tobias had mentioned on that first night that our 'brains' would be tested – the second stage of initiation - I had thought we would be taking exams: math, science, faction history, etc. I was nervous because I had never paid much attention in school. But the girls agreed that it didn't matter because Will was likely to come out as the top scorer in this stage.

"Relax," Tobias murmured, "this is not your typical exam, like in school."

We were in the dining hall, and I kept my eyes firmly trained on the ground. I didn't think I could bear the shame and embarrassment of looking at him, so soon after his rejection. In fact, I was already counting the days until initiation would be over and I could escape from Tobias forever.

"While it is important for you to be able to remember important dates and events in history, those are all available in textbooks. Anyone can have a copy and recite. You're not Erudite, so you don't need to be doctors, engineers or scientists, not Candor so that crosses out lawyers and lawmakers, not Amity hence farming is out to, or Dauntless so knowledge of gun or fighting is not required. What you are is Abnegation – the government. So either you'll be leaders or you'll help the leaders. Once your rankings are out and you choose jobs, then you'll be trained by seniors of your chosen profession. Hence, what we need to test is who has the capability to lead and who are followers. It's simple really – those who can't lead are the followers. And who can lead? The ones that can solve unique problems fast, because the government is always facing new challenges."

Tobias paused at this point. Either he needed a moment before he continued, or he was giving us time to digest what he was saying. "The tests will be random, no warnings given, and it'll all seem bizarre."

This whole situation seemed bizarre. I had never realized that Abnegation initiation was taken so seriously. I've heard of other faction initiates becoming facionless because they failed. I never heard before of an Abnegation initiate failing. Or maybe because no Abnegation initiate became factionless that I've never heard of the initiation problems.

"Now that you know the rules, you're dismissed."

There were a few gasps of confusion, from Christina and Lynn and maybe Marlene, and I guess they haven't caught up with the fact that when Tobias told us the tests could happen randomly, he really meant it. I knew Zeke and Shauna were going to administer these new tests too, and I hoped it was one of them testing me.

…..

Marlene was the first one who was tested. We were out again at the patch of green – it used to be a garden once, but looked more like grazing farm now – and suddenly Shauna came and flopped beside her. She had a portable PC with her and whispered in Marlene's ear while pointing to the screen. Then Shauna looked at the stop-watch that was on her other hand and counted the time silently. Marlene was thoroughly confused but blurted out something. Shauna left immediately afterwards.

As rules learnt long ago, we were never to discuss any test results. Thus, the rest of us didn't ask Marlene anything. She did complain the whole day about the abruptness of these tests.

Susan was next, and then Will, and then Susan again. Not everyone was tested the same day, but each candidate was tested more than once. Like Marlene, they were not happy either, but only Will grumbled to let everyone know his displeasure.

…..

On the early morning of the third day, as we had just began to fall asleep, I felt a hand cover my mouth. Afraid someone was trying to murder me in my sleep, I was ready to scream and kick, when I saw Shauna and her computer. She motioned me with her head to follow her, and I stumbled my way out, body still asleep but mind wide awake.

Shauna pointed at her screen and I saw a blue square box. Inside it were words of different colors, and the instruction: "Quick! Say aloud what color you see in every word, NOT the word you read."

As Shauna started her stop watch, I recited aloud, one after and another, and even I was impressed how I managed to get them all correct in record time.

"4.76 seconds and not a single mistake," Shauna murmured, so that only I could here. "Are you sure the aptitude test didn't decide on Erudite as your faction?"

It did. And suddenly I was nervous.

"No, I got Abnegation," I lied with a clear voice. Always knew I wasn't fit for Candor.

"Then you better make sure you don't surpass Will in the tests, shouldn't you?" She winked and walked away.

Shauna knew! Shauna knew I was Divergent and was warning me to remain careful. With Tobias on my mind, I had forgotten this unknown danger that I was supposed to be in. And thinking of Tobias made me realize that maybe he knew as well.

…..

By the fourth night, everyone had been tested at least once. For me, it had been three times already - each time harder than before as the number of questions increased and didn't really feel like I could answer correctly when I was asked to step out while I had been showering - and every time I wondered how this might help to run the government. I knew I was not going to come first, but I would be content doing a similar job to my mother's – recruit volunteers for aptitude tests and fix roads and such.

But I still didn't understand how realizing that two colors were same shade or two sticks were same size and what I was seeing was optical illusion, would help me as a government worker.

Or maybe it wouldn't and the purpose was just to see how sharp and quick we were? Yep, that definitely made more sense, since Tobias said we would be trained anyway when we get a job.

Tobias was on my mind a lot lately. I never saw him except for meals, and unlike previously, I was the one pointedly looking away. Between thinking about him and this nervous energy inside, wondering when I might be tested again and how I would do, made for one hell of a time.

I was sporting black circles and seemed to suffer from indigestion. The only highlight was that everyone else looked just as bad as I did.

…..

By the end of the week, we were all mentally exhausted. We jumped at the slightest unexpected contacts of any form or screamed at the slightest unnatural noises. Day and night seemed only distinguishable because of the sun outside. Being woken up at strange times of the night to take the ongoing test and skipping meals because our minds were preoccupied with questions we were asked, our senses of space and time seemed addled.

It was an emotionally charged morning as we sat for breakfast the day we were to receive our scores for the second initiation stage.

"Don't you lot look excited," Zeke laughed, and I saw Uriah flip him off.

"No one ever said that the tests would get easier," Tobias began, "and since you actually look beaten, then it means we did our job right."

"Because it's _really_ selfless to drive one to paranoia," Lynn muttered quietly rom beside me. I smiled slightly, until Tobias shifted his eyes on me. I was sure he hadn't heard Lynn, but my smile was indication something very un-Abnegation like happened.

I sighed. Will I never stop letting Tobias down? Oh, well, maybe one more week. Then Tobias would not have to put up with me again.

The thought should make me happy…but it didn't.

"Here are your scores," Tobias announced and moved away from the board.

Will

Caleb

Christina

Beatrice

Al

Lynn

Uriah

Marlene

Susan

My eyes automatically searched for two names, mine and the #1. I was happy with coming at #4 and as expected, Will coming first; but there were a few gasps on the table. For a moment, I worried it was because of me, that maybe my Divergence was showing, and looked cautiously at everyone. However, the ones who seemed incredulous by the rankings – Christina, Lynn, and Will? – seemed to be staring at Caleb.

And that was when it registered in my mind. I was fit for Erudite too, so I guess that was why I could do relatively well. But Caleb? The other Abnegation was at the bottom of the list, because when it came to the intelligence, Erudites were considered most brilliant, followed by Candor.

Yet an Abnegation took the second place.

…..

"I guess I never knew this side of yours," I said to my brother, not sure how to react. Caleb and I had moved to a corner of the dining hall, after cleaning up our plates. My friends saw me talking with him, but either they were giving us privacy or they were still not over the shock.

"You wouldn't," he murmured, "because Abnegations are never supposed to ask questions." I frowned at him. What was he trying to say?

"But while you were busy bending rules, I was busy trying to find an answer to my questions."

"What questions?" I asked, still perplexed.

"I had a thirst for knowledge, while you were always mesmerized by the Dauntless." I never knew my brother had noticed. "As Abnegations, we couldn't ask our parents. But I wanted to find out anyway why children born of devoted Abnegation parents displayed characteristics of other factions."

"And?" My heart was racing, not in the way when Tobias was near, but the kind one felt when making a new discovery.

"Dad was born in Erudite. And mom in Dauntless."

I stared dumb-founded at my brother. My perfect Abnegation parents were faction transfers? Was that the reason I could never conform to Abnegation rules? Because some of my parents' Erudite and Dauntless, along with Abnegation, genes were passed on to me? Thus my aptitude to blend in more than one faction? And did that mean…Caleb was like me too?

"Caleb, what was your test results?" I asked, eyes narrowed.

He went all stiff, lips drawn in a thin line.

"What was _yours_?"

And I realized no matter how much we loved each other, we still couldn't trust one another.

"Listen, Beatrice, it doesn't matter," he sighed. "What matters is that we are both Abnegation now. So, unless absolutely necessary, keep your Dauntless side to yourself."

Caleb thought my aptitude test result was Dauntless?!

"And yet, you displayed the Erudite in you."

"It was necessary," he murmured, confirming my suspicion that he was not Divergence, just Erudite.

"Why?"

"I want to work for the government like Dad. I don't care what the other initiates think; I'll not ruin my opportunity just so that I could pretend to be the perfect Abnegation."

"Careful, then," I replied, remembering how Will had looked at Caleb. "Neither of you may be good enough to join the council, but both you and Will might be fighting for the same high ranking positions in the government."

…..

It was late, very late; past bedtime. But I couldn't sleep.

It seemed like I had learned more in the past two weeks than I had in my entire life – about Abnegation, about my parents, about my brother, about me.

And they just raised more questions in my mind.

"Tris?"

I was so shocked I almost screamed in surprise, only to find it was Tobias. If all instructors kept this up, I would soon lose my startle response.

"What are you doing outside so late?"

We were in the little green area outside the initiates' training center. I knew I shouldn't be here at this time of the night, but I'd be damned if I'd let Tobias make me feel guilty.

"None of your business," I muttered, as I tried to walk away.

"Yes, it is," he said in his instructor voice. "I have every authority here; I am the law here. Don't forget that I'm still your instructor and you're just an initiate."

"Did _you_ forget that when you kissed me?" I asked, sardonically.

His eyes hardened.

"Or do you make a habit of kissing all female initiates, what with being authority or law…" I never got to finish the sentence. His hands were around me. Not in a sweet, romantic embrace, but like shackles of steel.

"Don't you dare!" He looked ready to murder, and it was all directed at me. "Don't you dare cheapen what we have, you understand?"

"Tobias…you're hurting me," I whimpered, struggling. Immediately, he let me go, like he hadn't even realized what he was doing, or his own strength.

"I'm sorry," he muttered gruffly.

I didn't know what to say. I was still mad at him for rejecting me; and slightly embarrassed too, because I knew it was my fault – I had no idea how to kiss.

"Look, I understand you're angry," he began, one hand on hips and the other in his hair, like he wanted to tear them out. "What I did was inexcusable. And wrong…even if I couldn't help myself," he murmured the last part softly, as if he was talking to himself. "But you've to understand we can't get involved while you're still my initiate."

Wait, what?

Did that mean he wasn't upset about the kiss? That he actually liked it…liked me?

"There's just a week left until initiation is complete," I said the first thing that came to mind since my epiphany just now.

"Yes," Tobias agreed, "But until then, you and I can't be seen together. You deserve better. Of all the people, I should have known to treat a girl better."

I was wide awake now. Tobias looked disturbed, like there were more things on his mind than us, but my mind was full of images of Tobias and me – us holding hands in secret, him kissing me in a secluded corner, getting married in white, chubby children running around.

"What are you thinking?"

It was a good thing we were surrounded by darkness; otherwise, I was sure I would have died of embarrassment at Tobias' question. The man hadn't even said whether he liked me, and here I was planning our whole future.

"Tris?"

I looked at him, trying to act as normal as possible.

"You should go to bed."

I nodded. I didn't think it would be wise to speak right now, or I just might blurt something stupid. So, we walked back in silence. I was about to make my way towards the girls' room when Tobias spoke up.

"Next stage of initiation will be mentally challenging. But you'll be fine as long as you remember your inner Abnegation. Be selfless, Tris."

Was that just a moral support motto instructors reserved for initiates, or did Tobias just warn me against unforeseen danger?

What is _Divergence_?

**A/N 2: On the bright side, I've already started writing the next chapter. Will upload once I'm done.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:**** Chapter seven.**

**Okay, so I got a PM, telling me that this story will be more interesting if I focused on FourTris only. **

**First of all, I do appreciate all the feedback I get, because they help me to improve what I write. Having said that, I DON'T think I can write a story like that. I know other characters takes away from Tris/Tobias time, but I write what comes to my mind and the ideas are usually accompanied with some importance to secondary characters too. **

**I have no idea how crucial these characters will be to the whole story, but to write a story just about FourTris is not my cup of tea. Sorry about that :(.**

**Spoilers:**** This story is almost completely AU, but based on the Divergent books and movie.**

**Disclaimer:**** Don't own anything, unfortunately :(.**

Chapter 6:

TrisPOV:

"We have come to the last stage of initiation, and again, it'll be random," Tobias announced after breakfast during the start of our last week as initiates. "We will explain the procedure of the test, but the actual test will be different for each one of you. So even if some of you are tested before others, and go against the laws to confide in one another, you'll still be helpless during your own tests."

Everyone on the initiates' table looked a bit queasy. Joining Abnegation was supposed to be easy, hence the increase in faction transfers. The reality was turning out to be quite different for some, even to an Abnegation born like me.

"So, the procedure. Well, simply put, it'll be just like your aptitude test." As if synchronized, a shudder went through everyone simultaneously. "You'll face a numbers of scenarios in the simulations, though not the same ones as your aptitude test. But unlike your Choosing Ceremony where you get to choose a faction of your preference despite the results of the aptitude test," and Tobias paused here, either for effect or just to let it all sink in, "it will be in your best interest to remain selfless. Otherwise, you'll end up at the bottom of the ranking pool."

The Candors looked worried, and so did the Dauntless girls. Even born and aptitude-result Erudites like Will and Caleb seemed to frown – maybe trying to remember what they had learned about being selfless, but none looked quite as sick as Uriah and I did. The occupants of the instructors' table felt it too, as their eyes ping-ponged between our faces.

Uriah's Divergence was clear to me, and as he followed the instructors' eyes and looked at me, my state was clear to him too. But I was not worried if he found out my secret, considering I was keeping his. What worried me was that I didn't even have any idea what being Divergent meant. Sure, I knew I had aptitude to blend in more than one faction, but why was it considered dangerous?

As we were dismissed, I couldn't help but feel afraid. If Tori had been tense, if my mother had looked worried, if my instructors and even Tobias seemed unsettled, then I knew I shouldn't take this lightly.

…..

The whole day was spent thinking, brooding, worrying. None of the initiates were in a mood to socialize even if all did make our way out to the little garden or park or whatever it was. None of us knew what to expect or when to expect it. All we knew was that we needed to be selfless.

That word came up a lot, it seemed.

Selflessness.

…..

I was helping, along with the others, to unload a small refrigerated van containing cartons of frozen food. We did this at the beginning of each week, as supplies were brought to the training center. It was then I felt as if someone was trying to get my attention. When I looked up after having deposited a card-board box full of frozen peas, I saw a blinding light go on and off, like a beacon. I looked around, but none of the initiates were nearby though I could see and hear them moving around in the kitchen and backdoor. Curious, I followed the blinking light. It came from the ceiling-less enclosed area, where all the empty boxes were stored, until they were taken away each week.

But no one was there.

Until a strong hand grabbed me from behind and whirled me around. The scream died on my lips as I saw my mother standing in front of me – in shirts and slacks. I had never seen my mother in such garments.

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

She just hugged me and kissed my cheeks and on the side of my head.

"I missed you so much, baby."

"But I'll be back home in a week."

"Yes, but I need to make sure you survive this week."

Survive?

"Mom," the panic was clear in my voice, "is this about being Di…"

"Shsssh," my mother hissed. "Never say that word aloud. To anyone!"

"Mom, what's wrong with me? What am I?" I always considered myself strong and tried to refrain from crying, but the urge to do so was overwhelming now.

"It's okay, it's okay. Hey, look at me," and I tried to blink back the tears, "you'll be fine. Just remember, be selfless."

"That's what Tobias keeps saying too."

"He's your instructor and as such, it's his duty to prepare all of you." My mom thought Tobias only gave that advice because I was his initiate. I wondered if I should confess that he had warned me separately, as did Shauna once. But I didn't get the chance to debate long in my mind.

"Listen, just make sure that you don't do anything unnatural. Do what your father has always taught you. Stay selfless, Beatrice."

With that, she kissed me one last time on my forehead and made her gateway by smoothly jumping over the barbed-wire fence. If Caleb hadn't already told me that my mother came from Dauntless, I'd have definitely had a heart attack at the sight of my kind mother looking as sharp and agile as a panther.

…..

I was the last one to exit the washrooms after cleaning up at night, my mind full of worries to get my nightly routine finished on time. I was not feeling very sleepy however, and that was the only reason why I was able to see the lone figure standing near the girls' washroom, as if waiting for me. The moment Tobias saw me, he pressed a finger to his lips, and then motioned me over with his a nod of his head.

I followed him as silently as I could.

He led me quietly to his office, but it was not for a romantic late-night secret rendezvous. I couldn't help but feel the disappointment, since I was now aware that he did indeed like me. But when Zeke and Shauna joined Tobias, along with Uriah, I knew something serious was going on.

"We have a problem," Tobias muttered quietly, looking at both Uriah and me. "Marcus Eaton will join us to see your final initiation tests."

"No," Uriah murmured, panicked.

"Why?" I asked, but what I really wanted to know was, "Is this because we are D…"

"Yes."

"He knows?" Uriah again, horrified.

"No, but he most likely suspects it," Zeke said.

"What do you mean?" Why would Marcus suspect anything?

"Because Zeke and I volunteered to instruct this year. Now, that wouldn't have raised any suspicion as at least one Abnegation leader needs to be present, and Zeke is also qualified to instruct what with him being in charge of the Abnegation security; but the moment Uriah joined us, Marcus realized there's more than meets the eye. It's no secret that Zeke and Uriah are brothers, so for one brother willing to test his initiate brother means there's something to hide."

"Is it against the law?" Uriah wanted to know.

"Not yet, as I had pointed out to him. But you can bet your ass that if Marcus Eaton can prove us wrong, it will most definitely be law and all of us will be executed."

There was a gasp of shock and I hadn't realized it had come from me.

"Even you? But you're his _son_!" Tobias' eyes seemed to go blank at Uriah's exclamation. What had happened between him and his father?

"Faction before blood, remember?" It was Zeke who gave the vague explanation, but his eyes were apologetic as he looked at his friend.

"So what are we going to do?" I wondered aloud, fervently hoping the queasy feeling in my stomach will go away soon.

"As one of the council members, I have many of the test serums at my disposal," Tobias said, holding up a device that looked like a small metal and glass gun, but with a needle instead of a barrel. I could also see the bright liquid that was visible through the transparent vial.

"You're going to test us now?" If my eyes got any bigger, I was sure they would have popped out of their sockets.

"No." Tobias said, "We need computers to see the visuals and every simulations are recorded. Though I manage the control rooms when not needed for any government meeting, still the data in the wrong hands could expose all of us."

"Then how…" Uriah looked, confused.

"Instead of testing you, we will be testing ourselves. Once connected to our minds, usually the simulation are repetitive, that is, I'll get the same scenario as I had when I was an initiate. Same for Zeke. The only difference will be that this time both Zeke and I will connect another person to come with us in our testing landscape."

"Have you ever done this before? If all simulations were recorded, then wouldn't it also be recorded that the simulations contained two people instead of one?"

"Shauna will supervise," Zeke answered. "While she will get to see everything now while we are in the landscape, she can manually delete the footage of the second person."

"Is that even possible?"

"Yes, it is," Shauna replied. "But I suggest you guys hurry before your room mates realize you two are missing."

Suddenly all three got busy connection computers and wires and what not. As we reclines in the chairs provided, Uriah looked as mystified ad I did. I just hoped Tobias and the others knew what they were doing.

"Ready?" Zeke asked, holding one of those guns, after he had already shot himself. He had wires taped to his temples and so did Tobias.

"Couldn't we just drink from the shot glasses or something?" Uriah asked, looking warily at the injection gun. Zeke just rolled his eyes, before stabbing his younger brother with it.

I felt Tobias brush the side of my neck with his knuckles. I shivered at the touch, only to realize he was removing my hair to inject me. "It's not gonna hurt, okay?"

I nodded, as I felt a slight sting as the needle penetrated my skin. Then a balmy sensation took over me, and I could sense myself drifting off, but not before I heard Tobias murmur, "Be selfless, Tris."

…..

We were outside; that was the first thought in my mind.

"What has standing in the deserted roads of Abnegation got to do with being selfless?" I asked Tobias, frowning.

"The serum will create simulations of situations that each person struggle to be selfless with," Tobias murmured, looking at a particular direction. "That is why we all get different landscapes – it tests us if we can remain selfless even in situations when we want to be selfish."

A gun shot rang out. It came from the direction Tobias had been looking at. A factionless man emerged, holding a gun and his clothes stained with blood. He had killed someone.

Suddenly, we could hear the sound of running footsteps. The Dauntless, our police.

"My instinct is to let the Dauntless soldiers kill the man," Tobias told me as he faced the black-clad figures, "because he deserves it."

"He does," I agreed, looking at the factionless man that was slowly trying to run away.

"But I don't know if he killed for his own gain, or self-defense, or even to save some one." Tobias delivered a few blows, but it was easy to see he was being over-powered. The factionless man had already disappeared, so looked like the Dauntless were taking their anger out on Tobias for hindering them.

"Tobias!" I screamed, as he was being beaten to a bloody pulp. I saw the Dauntless had guns, but they were using their knuckles and legs, as each punch or kick left Tobias even so bloody that he was looking almost unrecognizable.

I tried to get a gun from one of them, but was hit hard on the side of my face that sent me reeling to the ground.

"Tris!"

"Take the gun and kill yourself," I murmured. "This is not real."

Just like that, everything was gone – the Abnegation roads, the factionless murderer, the Dauntless soldiers.

"And that is what you should never do," Tobias said, looking me straight in the eye. He was all better now, not a scratch to be seen. "Only Divergents can tell when they are in a simulation."

I stared at him, wide-eyed.

"So, just let the situation draw out to its natural conclusion. Try to accept your fate and calm your breathing; it helps to get out of the landscape fast."

"You are Divergent!"

Before he could verbally confirm it, the landscape changed to another scenery. And a bad one too.

We were in a laboratory room, trapped…and it was on fire. The smoke was making it difficult for me to breathe and I could see Tobias already on the ground, supporting himself on his hands and knees. But one side of the lab was made of glass and the greenery outside was a stark contrast to the smoke inside. With Tobias on all fours, I decided I would have to do something. I picked up the chair near me and flung it at the glass with strength I never even knew I had.

"It will not work," Tobias, coughed and looked ready to pass out.

It was more for him than for myself that I wanted to escape this hell. Suddenly, I remembered something. I managed to walk on unsteady legs towards the glass and tapped it.

_This is not real_, my mind said, as the crack overtook the whole glass wall, until it shattered to a million pieces.

"NO!" Tobias shouted and his echo was all I heard until we were back standing in the void between the testing landscapes.

"Don't you ever listen to me?" he shouted, clutching my arms, as we stood face to face.

"You were suffering, and I…"

"Let the simulation continue. I just told you that, didn't I? Because only Divergents…"

"…can do that. Yeah, I know!" I muttered, shaking him off. My eyes pricked with tears – I was only trying to help Tobias, but here he was, getting angry at me.

As the landscape began to take new form, I found myself in my parents' Abnegation home. I frowned.

"Why are we in my room?" I asked and looked at Tobias. He seemed to be frowning too.

"Something's not right. This is usually my last landscape, and I _know_ I still haven't gotten over the third one."

"What?" I was confused – Tobias wasn't making any sense to me. As I was about to ask him to explain himself again, the door to the room opened and Marcus walked in.

Oh. All the houses in Abnegation were the built the same way and decorated similarly inside too – just the basic necessities.

We were not in my room; we were in Tobias' room.

As his father made his way towards him, Tobias looked at me and said sadly, "I wish you didn't have to witness this."

Before I could figure out what he meant, a whip unfurled and slashed his arms. I was too shocked and it took a moment to realize that it was not whip, but that Marcus Eaton was using his belt on his son.

"It's for your own good, Tobias," said the simulation Marcus is an eerie voice.

"Zeke had been training me to…fight almost immediately after we met during…initiation," Tobias muttered through gritted teeth, as scars after scars continued to taint his body. "He had…uh…seen the dried scabs on my…back. So when I had…finally…faced my la-landscape in my stage…three initiation, I…I-I had wanted to…hit back at Marcus."

I knew I should just sit in a corner and hide my face behind my hands so that I didn't have to witness this, but the emotions in me were too strong. Aware that Tobias would get mad at me again, I still placed myself between him and his father, feeling the sting of the belt to my very core.

_How did Tobias endure this for so long_, I thought.

But the next one never came as Tobias had knocked out his father with one punch. And we were back in the void again.

"Tobias, I'm so…" I began, keeping my eyes down, when I felt myself being engulfed in a hug. He buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply.

"I knew it, but hadn't fully realized how much it hurts me to see you suffer," he murmured.

Tobias had punched his father to protect me?

I pulled back to look at him, only to realize that while we were still in his Abnegation room, we were near the entrance to the main door – which was wide open.

"This used to be my third landscape. Usually, the last one is when you feel most selfish but need to be completely selfless to end the simulation."

Like at the beginning in the landscape with his father, Tobias looked confused. He went near the open door and looked outside. I followed him.

A form was taking shape; a woman from the looks of it. Feeling a little jealous, I asked Tobias about her.

"It should be my mother; she's leaving me and everything in me screams to make her stay. But I have to be selfless and let her go, because she was not happy. My father abused her as much as he assaulted me."

I was feeling guilty for my little bout of jealousy until the woman had taken a clear form. I was shocked beyond coherence, because although I had no idea what Tobias' mother looked like, but I knew for sure that the woman I was now seeing was not who Tobias said she should be. I knew it because I had seen her every three months my faction allowed me to look in the mirror – it was me.

"This has never happened before," Tobias whispered, his voice clearly panicked.

I looked nothing like the figure standing outside though. Or I hoped I didn't, because she had this edge in her voice and stance that made her seem dangerous.

"I'm leaving!" she announced harshly. Tobias merely stared.

"How could you?" she screeched. "How could you hurt me like? Don't you have any compassion? How can you be so cruel to me?"

Tobias looked like someone had punched him in the gut. His face was a mask of torture as he stared at the screaming figure. It was like as if I didn't exist.

Wait, Tobias thought he was being selfless by letting me go…because he felt guilty about hurting me? But how was that possible when we were not even together yet?

"Tobias, Tobias!" I urged, trying to shake him. He looked back at me, seeming confused.

"You're just like your father, Tobias!" she hurled one last accusation at him. His body seem to go on shock as he turned back at the door, his eyes crying out for the retreating figure.

"Tobias, I'm here!" I urged, holding his face between my hands, forcing him to look at me. He blinked a few times and then buried his face in my neck.

The simulation fell away and this time we were back in our chairs again, me lying on top of Tobias. I jerked up and looked behind me. Tobias avoided my eyes.

"Welcome back," Shauna smiled. "That was fast."

I noticed Zeke and Uriah were still under the simulation, and their bodies seemed to jerk from time to time. Tobias hopped off as soon as I got up.

"Tobias…"

"So, now you know how it all works. Remember, Abnegations cannot tell when they are in a simulation. No shooting any one or breaking glasses. Just try to calm yourself down and let the tide pass."

"Tobias, listen…" I wanted to talk to him about the simulations, but he seemed determined to avoid it.

"You should go to be now, Tris. You need all the sleep you can get."

Giving up, because I was starting to feel the effects of the simulation take its toll on my body, I slowly moved towards the door. As I was leaving, I turned back to take one last look at him.

"Later," he lip-synced, and I realized it was not just a parting wish. He was promising to talk about what we saw in the simulations later on.

**A/N: Not sure how well I was able to write about Tobias' selflessness and all that. It seemed to make sense in my mind at the moment, so I just wrote them down, haha. Next chapter, we will get to see Tris being selfless, so yeah, need a bit of time to figure that out ;).**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**** Chapter eight.**

**I'm still working on ideas for Tris' simulation, so I guess this can be considered an interlude chapter. Just some Tris/Tobias development, though probably not what you might expect. It's a really small chapter. Oh, and do overlook the mistakes. Irresponsible on my part, I know, but I find it difficult to go through my own stories once I finish writing a chapter.**

**Spoilers:**** Basically, the Divergent Trio books, but this is mostly AU.**

**Disclaimer:**** Yep, all properties of Veronica Roth!**

Chapter 7:

TrisPOV:

I tip-toed out of the girls' room, and only when I had closed the doors behind me, did I sigh in relief. The danger was not over though. Christina or any of the other girls might wake up to use the loo, and will notice I'm missing, what with the bed empty and no sign of me in the wash room.

But I _needed_ to see Tobias!

All initiates had gone through their final stage simulation, except for Caleb and me. Why? Did Tobias or the others know? Moreover, even though he had promised, Tobias didn't talk to me after we were in his testing landscape.

So, I made my way to his office now. Usually, at this time, even the instructors were in bed. Ever since the last initiation stage began though, I had noticed light coming from underneath Tobias' office door. Making sure I didn't hit anything in the dark, or unexpectedly made some noise, I reached my destination.

I was expecting the door to be locked, and wondering how best to get his attention, when the door gave away beneath my hands. Tobias was facing away from me, and he seemed to be reading something from a hand held device as I entered and turned to lock the door behind me.

It was so unexpected that no sooner had I clicked the lock, I was pressed against the door brutally, while a large hand cut off my oxygen supply. I struggled to remove his hands from my mouth and nose, gasping for air and to let Tobias know that it was just me. When I finally managed, it seemed more like ha had let me go, rather than me successfully overcoming his attack. I had my head pressed on the door in front of me, trying to get in some much necessary oxygen in my system.

"It's me, Beatrice," I panted.

"I know."

His reply confused me and slowly I turned towards him.

Tobias looked horrible, like all bones and angles instead of a flesh and blood man. His muscles were drawn taut and it was only them that made him look human. Otherwise, he could have been mistaken for an automaton.

"Never try to sneak up on me, Tris. I don't react well to sudden or unexpected movements."

I tried to put two and two together.

"Is that what your father did to you? Did he hit you out of the blue? Did…"

"I don't want to discuss this with you right now," Tobias muttered and turned away.

"Then when? You haven't talked to me for almost a week!"

"I have nothing to say."

"Nothing to say? _Nothing to say_?" I could feel the anger rising inside me, but I tried to keep my voice low. "You _promised_…"

"I didn't make any promises," was Tobias' harsh reply as he turned to glare at me. I glared right back.

"You said "later". What did that mean if not a promise for an explanation?"

"Maybe I was just wishing you a good night."

"Liar!" I almost shouted. "You…"

"Would you keep your voice down?" Tobias was almost nose to nose with me, and the coldness in his eyes made me falter. He looked at me like I was nothing more than a troublesome initiate for him. And for a moment, I wondered if that was all I was to him. But then I remembered all those things that had happened. The Kiss. His confession. The testing landscape.

"Why won't you just talk to me about it?" I beseeched.

"There is nothing…"

"Your father used to abuse you!" I interjected before he could go in denial mode.

"And that is none of your business," he said, his voice steady. Cruel. "It's my life and what happened in my life is none of your concern. I'm your instructor and you're just my initiate. Don't forget that."

My eyes watered, and I bit my lip, hard, to keep myself from letting the tears fall. I would have left immediately, except there was one last thing I wanted to know.

"I was in your simulation landscape," my voice wavered, giving away my fragile emotional state. But Tobias gave no indication he noticed…or that he even cared.

"And I'm trying to figure out why," Tobias' voice was almost as robotic as he looked. "There has never been a case where the scenarios changed in Abnegation's landscape since their initiation. The one you saw used to be my third landscape in my simulation and I don't understand what made it change…because no woman has ever been as important in my life as my mother."

I didn't know if Tobias was deliberately trying to hurt me; if he was, then he did a pretty good job because I could feel my heart breaking at his words. I fled from his office as fast as I could and I really really wished I never had to lay eyes upon him again in my life.

…..

Tobias' POV:

I hate myself.

I hate myself for doing this to her, to my…to Tris, but I had no other choice.

Marcus had come here from day 1 of the final initiation stage and watched like a hawk. He started with Uriah, confirming my suspicion that Marcus was only making himself available to see if Zeke's brother was Divergent.

When Uriah cleverly concealed his divergence in the simulation, Marcus tested Lynn next because of her relation with Shauna. Then Marlene, though he didn't seem too interested. But Will was subjected to his keen his eyes, but again coming up with another Abnegation. After that it was Al, Christina and finally Susan, by which point Marcus Eaton was clearly bored…and frustrated, but his emotion was only directed at me.

It was clear Marcus thought Andrew Prior's children would end up being perfect Abnegations, so they were left for the last. A part of me hoped that Marcus would not even show up for Tris and Caleb's simulations; but that would raise a few eyebrows at the council, like he had some other motives, and Marcus Eaton would not make a fool of himself.

So it was imperative I take precautions. I hadn't even foreseen this problem until Tris appeared in my landscape.

From the time of my initiation, it had always been my mother leaving me where I found it hard to let her go. But I had known from the beginning that I had to be selfless, I had to let her go. The fact that I was Divergent made it easier for me – I knew I was in a simulation; I knew my mother leaving me is just symbolic…because my mother was dead in real life.

But my last time in my simulation threw me for a loop. I knew I cared about Tris; I just didn't think it was enough to change my whole landscape. At the time, even with Tris right by my side, I felt like my heart was being ripped out when the simulation Tris was leaving me.

And the accusations. She said I was just like him, like my father. If there was one thing I wanted to do in life, it was to never be like Marcus Eaton.

Yet I was, wasn't I? I hurt Tris…so many times. I hurt her when I kissed her; I should have known my own strength, known better than to grab her like a factionless man hunting for prey. I hurt her when I ignored her; I should have known better than to just imagine that she'd figure out our predicament all by herself. It seemed like the more I wanted to avoid hurting Tris, the more I ended up doing so…over and over again.

Like right now. I know I was cruel to her, I wouldn't blame her if she hated me now. But I needed to do this – for Marcus, for me, for her own sake.

Because if Tris showed up in my simulation, then I could show up in her simulation too. And if her landscape was anything like mine, then it would be obvious to Marcus that Tris and I shared more than an instructor-initiate relationship. And what would happen then?

If there was any God up there, then I hope he would stop Marcus from being present at Tris' final simulation. Otherwise, I would have to take such a drastic step that it would completely change our lives the way we know it now.

I put my right hand in pocket and held the small square box tightly. As my eyes closed from exhaustion, I could only pray that if push came to shove, Tris would stand by my side.

**A/N: So there. Not a super long chapter as usual, but I just wanted to put this out there while I finish the next chapter. **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:**** Chapter nine.**

**I wanted to write from Tris POV, but the words were simply not forming themselves. So, I wrote it from Tobias POV. **

**Also, every scenario I came up with for Tris' landscape, it just seemed like Tris was either selfish about trivial matters or her parents were simply not good enough. And I didn't like either option. **

**Just goes to show you can get trapped in your own plotline ;).**

**At least, I was somewhat happy with Tobias' landscapes, since his father was abusive and his mother was dead. Not to mention, his tortured childhood made him claustrophobic and somewhat unforgiving. **

**So, Tris' seven landscapes may seem a little unnecessary, but I wanted to maintain the Four and Six/Seven thing, so here goes nothing.**

**Spoilers:**** Divergent book and movie.**

**Disclaimer:**** Veronica Roth owns it all.**

Chapter 8:

TobiasPOV:

I was not nervous; I was friggin _terrified_.

Caleb was done with his simulation and now Marcus sat waiting…for Tris.

I had really hoped he would just leave midway through the eldest Prior kid's simulation, because Caleb was being picture perfect Abnegation in his testing landscape. If I hadn't already known him during initiation, I wouldn't have even realized it was his inner Erudite that made him act the perfect Abnegation. Not only Caleb had been aware beforehand where he struggled to be selfless, but he was well read to know how to overcome his selfishness to look like the perfect citizen of the governing faction. From the looks of it, Marcus Eaton was as fooled as everyone else had been about Caleb Prior.

Now I only hoped his sister would turn out to be an equally good actress.

Tris showed up while I was still mulling, and took her seat. As Shauna settled her and got ready to inject the serum, I noticed Tris avoid my eyes. Just as well. Whenever each initiate was prepping to go under, Marcus openly watched all my actions. If it wouldn't have shocked or set a terrible example to the new Abnegation joiners, I would have happily put a fist through Marcus' head for still trying to control my life.

It had been a revelation really, when over two weeks of endless learning and practicing fighting skills from Zeke suddenly made me realize on the day of my final initiation test that I wasn't afraid of the man who had made my childhood horrific; it had been a revelation to Marcus himself what he had witnessed in my testing landscape – that I was taking his beating in an attempt to remain selfless, meaning in real life I wanted to punch a hole through him. He had kept the records to himself, and he was aware I could do the same with the initiates this time, since I was also in charge of them. That was why Marcus Eaton was still here, trying to assert his superiority over me as long as officially possible for him.

However, if I had gained control over my fears on the last day of initiation two years ago, I was now acquiring new ones as Tris finally succumbed to the effect of the serum. I paid close attention to the screens, maybe even more so than Marcus Eaton himself.

…..

It must be Tris' home. She was sitting on the roof and watching her neighbors going about their everyday lives. She looked contemplative, when a group of people seemed to return from what looked like the monthly trips to get the food and other supplies. Most of them were middle-aged, but some were older. I instantly knew what Tris had to do, and hoped she would spring to action before Marcus could realize his friend's daughter was not so perfect an Abnegation after all. She did, though having known her so well now, I could read in her body language how stifling Tris found this monotonous Abnegation lifestyle. Her first landscape fell away to make room for the second one.

Now they were inside. They were having dinner, and I knew it because there was no sunlight filtering through the windows, but a single light bulb that glowed in the middle of the dining table. They looked like the perfect Abnegation family as I used to think of them before; only, now I knew that the boy was a clever Erudite disguised as an Abnegation, while the girl was beautiful, free-spirited…and a danger to predators like Marcus Eaton. It was a bit of work, trying to figure out why this particular landscape appeared. There seemed nothing out of the Abnegation-ordinary, and I could see Marcus frowning too. And then I noticed Tris slowly twisting her spoon every few seconds. The spoon was level with the bowl in front of her, and it was natural she was looking down and listening while her parents conversed. Only, while Marcus missed it because he didn't know her, I knew Tris well enough that she most likely wanted to look at her reflection in the back of the spoon. Tris must have resisted her urge, because soon enough, she was in her third landscape.

Tris was in the school. It hadn't been that long ago I had been in those grounds and I could clearly see her as she clenched her hands to her sides and stood stiffly while her eyes remained focused on the group ahead of her. Some Candor boys were ragging an Abnegation boy, even getting a little physical and man-handling the small, grey-attired one. Tris seem to be digging her nails in her palms and even though the situation was nothing dire, I still prayed that she wouldn't do something drastic, like punching the Candors. Other students in the simulation seemed oblivious to the Candor-Abnegation showdown and as the landscape slowly faded after some time, I was glad to see Tris had done as I had asked.

In the fourth landscape, it was not the school anymore, but the way from there. Maybe towards Tris' home, or towards the bus that was late to take her back to safety. But it were those same Candor boys, and instead of assaulting another Abnegation, they were now picking on Tris herself. They were calling her a 'Stiff' and pushing her around; one even reached out and gave her a jerk, like they wanted to throw her on the ground to hurt her. Tris didn't look defiant like she had when she saw the Abnegation boy was attacked though. No, she looked like she was on the verge of tears as she tried to run away from her abusers. I felt a red hot rage pulse through my whole body, wondering if some boys had indeed misbehaved with her in school. The features of the boys were too clear and repetitive for them to be random faces. The scene was getting more violent by the seconds, and I felt like boxing those Candor punks through the screen. What seemed like an agonizingly long time later, the landscape faded to the next one.

They were walking, Caleb and Tris. He smiled and greeted and happily carried foods and groceries and clothes and other supplies for neighbors and strangers. Tris was there too, following every action of her brother, but not like an unspoken command – more like she was in awe of the boy who was barely older than her. Yet, he already was a hero in her eyes and she wanted to be perfect just like him. She was trying her best to keep up with him, but it seemed like Caleb never even noticed her. He was kind to little kids and friendly with his peers and respectful towards elders. It was like he never even noticed Tris and how she was doing her best, even though I could tell that was what Tris wanted – acknowledgement from her brother. I frowned at that. I never knew Tris suffered from low self-esteem because in her mind, she would never live up to her brother's expectations and be the perfect Abnegation like him. During the initiation, it had seemed like Tris understood her brother was an Erudite and all his selflessness was an act. But maybe wanting Caleb's approval was a psychological trait she had unconsciously nurtured since her childhood. This landscape was even longer than the previous one and finally it fell away to make room for yet another one.

This one seemed almost like the last one, only Tris' parents were present too. And although they didn't seem to ignore her, but from the way Caleb easily put a smile on their faces, it was obvious Tris felt neglected. I thought I had the Priors pegged, but it seemed like I was discovering new things about them now. I was sure Andrew and Natalie Prior were not abusive like Marcus Eaton, but if Tris' landscape was any indication, they favored their son over their daughter. I was almost sure of it, except at times when even in the simulation, Natalie Prior looked at her daughter with all the love in the world. The scene made my throat tighten and swallowing seemed hard. I didn't want to think about Evelyn Eaton, but the look Natalie Prior was giving her daughter was reminiscent of the look my mother had on her face when she had given me the blue sculpture. I wondered what that meant; wondered if Natalie Prior did love her daughter and all the insecurities were only in Tris' head; wondered if Evelyn Eaton had loved me too, but I was too young to understand. And suddenly I remembered my own simulation, and realized that I could deal with my mother being dead…but I couldn't live with Tris leaving me.

The girl in question managed to get out of her sixth landscape and as a seventh once was taking shape, I chanced a glance at Marcus Eaton. He looked thoroughly bored, like the apprehensions and anxieties of a teenage girl were of no consequences. I gritted my teeth, knowing that he didn't care about anyone unless he could benefit from it.

As Tris found herself in a new landscape, I watched for what other Abnegation rules and values she struggled with when I realized what I was seeing on the screen…or rather, who – myself. I had almost forgotten this might happen, even though it was my original reason for getting agitated at my father's presence. I didn't even have to look at Marcus Eaton to know he had shot me a triumphant smile and was watching the simulation closely. From the screen, I could see Tris and I were in my Abnegation room – or it could be hers, as all Abnegation houses were the same – and she was sitting on the bed, while I was standing right before her.

Sh*t!

As the landscape took a solid form, Tris seemed to be crying and I realized the simulation Tobias was shouting at her.

"What the hell was that, Tris?"

"I…" she hiccuped. "I didn't…"

"Get yourself together! This is pathetic."

Simulation Tobias glowered at her, before roughly pushing her flat on the bed and attacking her lips with his own. She didn't seem to kiss him back and turned her face away, but Tobias didn't look like he cared as he continued to suck on her neck.

My face turned red and I could feel myself breaking out in a sweat as I registered what was going on in the screen in front of me. Despite the hell that would soon break lose, thanks to Marcus Eaton, I realized I was getting aroused. The only weird thing seemed to be the fact that I was thinking of myself in third person. And that was just plain retarded, considering the mess we were getting into.

Simulation Tobias got impatient as Tris kept trying to push him off. He captured both her hands and said cruelly, "Aren't you Abnegation?" before attempting to kiss her mouth again. Tris let him this time around and as he started to move downwards, she closed her eyes and started taking deep breaths. It was then that I realized the significance of this landscape – Tris struggled with intimacy. She wasn't willing to let simulation Tobias have sex with her even though it was clear the two of them were married. The simple gold bands on their ring fingers were a dead giveaway.

Though it would be short lived, I still took a moment to sigh with relief as the landscape faded away before simulation Tobias could complete unbuttoning her shirt and kissing Tris' body. A glimpse of her cleavage was bad enough, considering Marcus saw everything on the screen too.

Tris jerked back to consciousness on her seat and Shauna, who had been waiting by her side all this time, was already helping her up. Before I could wonder if Tris would get all red and embarrassed, because she knew I would be able to watch everything, Marcus Eaton gave life to the nightmare I been fearing all along.

"What's the meaning of _this_?" he shouted.

I turned to him and stared hard.

"You took advantage of that innocent girl!"

"It was only a simulation," I said dryly.

"But why would you be there in Beatrice Prior's testing landscape?" Marcus Eaton asked, his face looking almost victorious. "It is clear that you misused your position as her instructor. This matter needs to be brought before the council and should be an example why a teenager is not fit to be a government leader." His smile was so wide now, as if he had already succeeded in ousting me from my job and position. "You raped her!"

"NO!" The shout came simultaneously from Zeke, Shauna – both of whom had not been privy to any initiates' tests but still understood something happened that Marcus was now making false accusations – and Tris herself.

"I believe Beatrice herself answered you," I replied coolly.

Marcus frowned a little, not willing to let go of the victory that he was so sure was within his grasp – getting rid of me.

"Child," he said in a saccharine sweet voice as he addressed Tris, "Are you sure? From what I saw in your testing landscape, Tobias Eaton was raping you."

Shauna gasped and Zeke looked at me, both of their gazes troubled and silently questioning me. I kept my gaze fixed on Marcus.

"Why would such a situation present itself in your simulation if there was no basis for it?"

Although his voice seemed kind, but it was clear that Marcus Eaton would go after Tris too if her answer didn't satisfy him.

Tris looked at him, and for a moment I wondered what she would say. She was no Candor, but she had never been in line of fire as she was now, and any attempt to pull the wool over Marcus' eyes would result in failure because he would see right through it.

I knew I had to intervene and reached in my pocket. The tiny box was still very much there, ready to dig us both out of this mess.

"Tobias did NOT rape me," Tris answered levelly. "And I am NOT a child."

Sixteen was the age of consent in all factions; it was also the age when a member of society was considered to be an adult. Hence not only the Aptitude Test and Choosing Ceremony, but reaching sixteen legalizes marriages too.

Marcus' jaw hardened.

"This is unacceptable," he addressed everyone as he spoke. "I don't believe either of you. You are both lying, hiding something. So, we will deal with this matter officially. Under the advanced Truth serum that Erudite invented recently."

He smiled.

I smiled back. He thought I was afraid, because the new serum was so effective that even Candors were using it now. Well, it was only effective in catching liars, but useless if the person was already speaking the truth.

"Tris and I are in love."

Thankfully, there were no audible reaction to give us away, though I could see from my peripheral vision Tris' face portray a range of emotions.

"Unethical!" Marcus exclaimed, and was about to start again why I should be brought before the government council, when it was Zeke who interrupted.

"Why?"

With narrowed eyes, Marcus Eaton spoke up. "Why? An instructor is having sex with his initiate and you are asking _why_?"

"We never had sex!"

Marcus looked at Tris, and for the first time, he looked unsure of himself.

"But your simulation…"

"I didn't know testing landscapes featured real life situations. And even if it does, it certainly didn't do in my case."

"They don't," Shauna answered Tris. "The landscapes can be from real life, but it can also be metaphorical."

The look on Marcus Eaton's face was one of anger, like he knew his victory was slipping. He wasn't ready to give up yet though.

"You two still engaged in a relationship and that is unacceptable. Abnegation does not tolerate affairs or dalliances of any kind. You broke the law."

Tris had no answer, but before her face could give away to what we had been up to in secret, I knew it was time put my plan to action.

"It was a courtship," I murmured, staring at Marcus Eaton right in the eye. "She is still an initiate and I'm her instructor. We did not forget or break any laws. As Abnegations, we both agreed to wait until the initiation period was over before formally announcing our engagement to the world."

Marcus Eaton was stumped. "Wha…"

"We are getting married."

**A/N: Phew. Okay, now that the initiations are over, hopefully, I'll be able to concentrate more on the Tris/Tobias relationship. Just wanted to know one thing – do you prefer Caleb to be the good guy or the bad one? Well, he'll not be the villain or anything, but I'm still not sure whether I want him as a nice guy or a thorn in Tris/Tobias' side.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:**** Chapter ten. **

**I'm kind of apprehensive now because I realize the story is not going where most of you expect it to go. What I'm trying to say is, now that the initiation is over, I will be able to develop Tris/Tobias relationship more – hopefully one that will live up to your expectations – but…there's still some way to go before the Happily Ever After. **

**I hope you guys will not be too disappointed with this chapter. I will put more emphasis on Tris/Tobias and ignore the others (they have their own lives now), but yeah, if any of you thought there's a wedding preparation going on, you would be wrong. Sorry about that :(.**

**And yep, I guess I'll write from whoever's POV makes the story progress for me.**

**Spoilers:**** Divergent, of course.**

**Disclaimer:**** Veronica Roth. 'Nuff said.**

Chapter 9:

TobiasPOV:

The initiations for this year was officially over, Marcus had left – though I was sure he'd be back and I had a feeling it would not be good for either Tris or me, and now all that remained was for Zeke, Shauna and me to announce the final scores. Then the initiates could finally go home or find some place to stay, since most were not from Abnegation. Till they acquired their new houses, they would be living in the initiates' center.

By the end of the coming week, they would have done that and also applied for the job they wanted since they were now official Abnegation members of our society.

There should have been three people ready to go back home – Tris, Caleb and Susan – but Christina was also leaving with Tris. Uriah and Lynn though, decided to stay back, since Marlene would be alone as Zeke and Shauna lived separately in a singles' housings, the standard accommodation type for unmarried people.

Everyone was in the dining hall once again, waiting for the scores. Since I had dropped the bomb about our pending marriage, I had wanted nothing more than to talk to Tris. But I had a job to finish, and Tris had avoided me completely. I was hopeful though, that once everyone finally got to know their rankings, we would get some alone time. After all, our rushed engagement was not a secret anymore.

As all initiates took their seat, I could see the varying degree of interests in their eyes. The only one shooting me death glares was Caleb, and the only one whose reaction I couldn't see was Tris – she had kept her head down since joining everyone. I guessed she was finally showing some proper Abnegation decorum; when a union was not a love match, but the bride accepted the hand of the man who proposed, she was to show him respect by letting him decided everything for their future. It was an outdated convention, and maybe Tris was following it because I was older than her. Not to mention, even though ours was a _love _match, I had taken the liberty to announce our decision to marry without consulting her before. I hoped she had understood why I had taken the step, and it looked like she agreed with me.

I couldn't help the feeling of happiness that surrounded me. I had not planned to marry so early in life, but I wanted Tris more than any girl I had ever met. Although it did trouble me a little that she was younger and still very new to life outside her home, but this was Abnegation and this was how things were done here. Sure, most women don't marry at sixteen, but it was not unheard of either. There was no room for affairs or remarriages. Anyone cheating or divorcing became factionless. So, whether choosing a marriage partner when we were still in our teens or twenties or thirties didn't make a difference, as Abnegation was no place to live-together to see if a couple worked well or not.

I was happy with Tris as my choice; I knew she would have chosen me too.

"This is it," I began as I looked at them all. I even smiled a little; it seemed to come easier since I had met Tris than it had before. "Once you get your scores, you are free to go and live your lives. Your dream jobs maybe harder to get and even more difficult to get used to, but at least you'll not become factionless."

The last part was intended as a joke, to get everyone laughing a little. While I marveled at the idea of being able to actually crack a joke – no doubt I was still on a high after getting one up over Marcus – the rest of the occupants didn't look amused. Caleb still looked ready to kill me, the others looked bored, Tris still had her eyes on the floor, and only Christina smirked, but I had an uneasy feeling the joke was on me.

One look at Zeke and Shauna, and their expressions told me I was much better as an intimidating instructor than as a stand-up comedian. I sighed.

"Yeah, okay. So, here are your final scores," I forced out, as I put up the black board.

4. Caleb

5. Will

6. Christina

7. Beatrice

8. Uriah

9. Susan

10. Al

11. Marlene

12. Lynn

"You are ranked from 4 to 12, because as you already know, you are judged against predetermined points. Unfortunately, none of you made it in the first three slots, but if it's any consolation, rarely anyone makes it to the top 3."

"Easy for you to say," someone muttered. I knew it was Lynn, and other than the fact it would have been rude to get back at her with a sarcastic remark, I just raised one eye-brow and looked at her name on the board. She finished at the bottom; that was payback enough for insulting the instructor.

Caleb looked satisfied enough to have forgotten about me. Or maybe because he knew how it felt to be on the receiving end of someone's continued glare, since Will was giving him the stink eye now.

Christina looked happy, Uriah seemed relieved, Marlene kept eating, but it was Al and Susan who had changed the most through the course of the initiation. If I was not mistaken, the two looked as if they liked each other. Maybe there would be news about another engagement soon. Which brought me back to Tris, and I frowned as I saw her leave the room with Christina.

"Tris?" I called out as everyone began filing out of the dining hall, when Caleb turned back to me and spoke crisply, "We need to leave soon to catch the bus. Our parents are waiting back home for us."

Right. Andrew and Natalie Prior. I needed to ask for permission for their daughter's hand in marriage. It was not necessary, since Tris was of age, but considering Marcus would try to pose a threat at every turn possible, I wanted to be on good terms with my future bride's family. I couldn't do anything about Caleb's unreasonable animosity towards me, but the senior Priors were mature people, so I was sure they would be more welcoming.

"I will come with you," I nodded to my soon-to-be brother-in-law.

"What the hell for?" I would be lying if I said I wasn't taken aback a little. Abnegations didn't swear. But then again, this was Caleb Prior – master actor. And the change in his attitude barely after initiation was over pissed me off.

"I've important stuff to discuss with Andrew Prior, government stuff."

I didn't, but I knew it would rub off on Caleb the wrong way as he couldn't make it in the council. Though most likely, he would still get a pretty important government job.

"Then make an _appointment_ with my father in his office."

Okay, now I was angry. What the hell was his problem? I had never been rude to him, so I didn't understand why he was being so unpleasant. In the back of my mind, I knew it had something to do with my relationship with Tris, but his sister loved me, and for all Caleb knew, we had done nothing scandalous. I doubt Tris went running to her brother and confessed about our stolen kisses.

"Look…"

Just then, Tris showed up and stood beside her brother. She carried a messenger bag in each hand – one hers and the other, Caleb's. Christina was not far behind, with her own bag slung over her shoulder.

"Tris."

She finally looked at me, then nodded at Caleb like in a silent communication. He smirked at me and with Christina, went out of the room and out the front doors. I saw Will following, sans any bag, but I was not bothered about them. I just wanted to talk to my Tris.

"Listen, about our engagement," I started, taking the small box out from my pocket. "I know I should have warned you before, but I was hoping it wouldn't come to that." I took out the simple solitaire ring that was the regular engagement rings for Abnegation marriages. "Well, what happened, happened. At least now, Marcus can't harm either one of us." With that, I took her left hand and slid the ring on her finger.

She looked at it, turning her hand over and back again, and I was gearing up for the kiss that I knew was inevitable. Abnegations didn't display affections, and most definitely not in broad day light where everyone could see them, but these were our friends and I knew Tris never cared much for traditions. I didn't either.

…..

On hindsight, I should have seen that coming. It was my error in judgment that I failed to realize Tris had never put much stock by Abnegation rules and regulations. It was not a 'Tris' thing to do for her to go all quiet all of a sudden. I should have known that was the lull before the storm.

As I stood in front of the window in my office, my scowl deepened. Zeke and Shauna were whispering behind me; I could live with that, I even expected that. It was only when they burst out into sudden fits of laughter every once in a while that I wanted to smack them with the cold, full, beer can I was holding on my left cheek for the swelling to subside.

Even now that a good half an hour had passed, I still couldn't believe Tris had slapped me. And it was no soft punch either, like when Shauna hits Zeke because he was being an idiot. No, it was a forceful fist connecting with my jaw with enough pressure to turn my face sideways and cut the inside of my cheek with my teeth. I was shocked, embarrassed and hurt, all at the same time. Shocked because I never expected Tris to physically hurt anyone, embarrassed because it had managed to cause me pain, and hurt because Tris didn't care enough to explain why she lashed out on me before she left for her home.

"At least, she kept the ring," Shauna suddenly said, sounding amused. I had had enough from those two. Some friends they were turning out to be. I turned and glared at them.

"Why wouldn't she?"

"And that is precisely why Beatrice hit you," she replied, shaking her head and looking like some stupid-f**king-sage.

"Will you stop talking in riddles?" I muttered, angrily. "You've been doing this ever since Tris left. That is, when you're not busy laughing your fat ass off."

"Hey!" Zeke cried out in indignation. "She doesn't have a fat ass."

"You are such an a**hole, Tobias."

Only Shauna ever got away with calling me names, but only because she knew I would never hit a woman. Even Zeke wouldn't dare, my best-friend or not.

"If you don't like it, then stop being a bitch," I answered. Before the two could gang up on me again, I continued. "Why don't you just say in plain English what's on your mind?"

"Ugh! I can't deal with this guy."

With that Shauna upped and left. Zeke stood as well.

"Talk to Beatrice, alright?" he sighed.

"In case you haven't noticed, that was what I was trying to be before she went all…Marcus Eaton on me," I finished rather raggedly.

"Don't!" Zeke said allowed. "This is not the same and you know it. Don't ruin what you've got with the girl by bringing your lousy excuse of a father in this."

I knew he was right, it was not the same. Only…I associated any kind of physical violence with Marcus Eaton. And that was the only kind of communication I had with Tris before she left.

"I just don't understand…" I trailed off, not even sure what I didn't understand anymore.

Almost at the door now, Zeke paused. "Did it ever occur to you Beatrice might have expected a traditional engagement where you got down on one knee and asked the girl to marry her before announcing your engagement to the world?"

With that, he left. And I wondered if Zeke might be on to something there.

…..

TrisPoV:

_The nerve of some people!_

I fumed, as I stood on the back of the bus, holding onto the handrails.

He stared at me, called me a phony, lectured me about right and wrong, got grabby and _kissed_ me, then callously ignored me, not so much an apology or even an acknowledgement about how he felt about me, then boom - we are in his testing landscape as if no one could hurt him more than me, but right on heels of that he almost told me I meant nothing to him.

And now he expected me to _marry_ him? Just because he had seen the rings on our fingers in my testing landscape?

Even Caleb couldn't make me conform to the Abnegation system; there was no way I was letting _Tobias Eaton_ dictate my life for me!

_That punch had felt so good!_

"You okay?" Christina asked, but her voice held more humor than concern.

"Yes," I replied curtly. I liked her a lot; she was the best friend I never thought I would have, but right now I knew she only wanted to tease me and I was not in the mood for that.

"If you're thinking that Tobias was being a jerk, then you're right."

"I am?"

"Absolutely," she confirmed. "And a snob."

"He is," I agreed. "I mean, he just expected me to do as he wanted."

"Authoritarian."

I smiled vindictively. She got it; Christina truly was my best friend.

"Oppressor."

"Dictator."

"Tyrant."

"Cut it out, you two. Others will hear," Caleb warned, though not unkindly. For the first time in my life, Caleb and I were on the same team. He disliked Tobias as well and that suited me just fine at the moment.

The bus stopped as we almost reached home; we were in no hurry now that our home was in sight, and spent a lot of time chitchatting with Susan, finally saying goodbye after what seemed like ages as she made her way to her parents' home while the rest of us headed toward ours.

"How are you going to explain the ring?" Caleb asked as we slowly walked to our door.

"I'm sure Marcus had already told Dad about Tobias and me. So, there's no point in hiding it," I replied.

"But you told me you don't want to marry Tobias Eaton," Caleb said, confused.

"I don't." I really didn't, not at the moment, not after how he had treated me. But I couldn't tell Caleb why Tobias was forced to announce our engagement to Marcus. My brother still thought Tobias saw me, liked me, wanted to marry me, and decided to let Marcus know even before he had asked me or my parents. That was what Tobias Eaton had done wrong, in my brother's eyes. If Caleb knew the truth, I had a feeling he'd be the first one bundling me off to Tobias and forcing us to get married right away. Caleb was almost archaic where physical contact was concerned.

"Then?"

"He's Marcus Eaton's son, Caleb," I sighed, exasperated. "In Dad's eyes, our leader can do no wrong. And no one has ever had a reason to point the finger at Tobias either."

"Marcus and his son don't get along. Everyone knows that."

"But no one knows why!" I knew. And even though I was angry at Tobias now, it was nothing compared to the loathing I felt towards Marcus Eaton. "It could just be a disagreement between father and son, since they both work for the council. God knows, you and I don't agree with a lot of things Mom and Dad believes in, but we never said anything because until today, we were minors – we had no right to say anything."

"You think Tobias made his opinions clear once he came of age; and stood by them when he joined the council, that that was what caused the rift between him and his father."

"Yes," I answered, feeling a little ashamed for duping my brother. "For all we know, Dad and Marcus Eaton had already fixed this match even before Tobias and I were old enough to understand anything about marriages."

Caleb looked aghast, but realization was slowly dawning on him.

I had a lot of time on my hands after Marcus left, to get angry at Tobias for never considering my opinions, when I realized that had Tobias not left home or were in better terms with his father, I might very well have still found myself in my current situation – once again, with no consideration to my feelings. And I couldn't even blame anyone, because this was the normal Abnegation procedure. Had Robert stayed and I had showed any interest in him, my parents would have noticed and waited for us to make the move. But since that was never the case, the only other candidate was Tobias really, as there were hardly any Abnegation boys my age. It would have made perfect sense for my parents to fix me up with Tobias, since I didn't even like any boy from other factions in school to follow with them and away from Abnegation, like Marlene had done for Uriah.

"You think Dad will approve," Caleb said, finally.

"Let's find out," I really wasn't sure I wanted to know.

The door opened even before we could knock, and our parents stood on the other side, beaming. Caleb nudged me and I moved in first, smiling as both my parents engulfed me in a hug. My mother held out a hand to Caleb and soon we were a family, laughing and crying together as we reunited.

"Well, don't just stand there, dear girl," my father beaconed to Christina. "Join in on the family fun."

Christina looked bemused for a second before she found herself in the middle of the Prior group hug, and finally started to laugh and hug back.

"This is not a proper Abnegation welcome," my mother said to Christina, as we slowly parted. "But when you have two children and both of them are away from home for a lengthy duration for the first time in life, the homecoming ends up being a bit over the top."

"It's alright, Mrs. Prior," Christina murmured happily. "And thanks for letting me stay."

"I think I'll be able to help you and Beatrice find suitable jobs since I work in the government. And it will be much easier if you are both under the same roof."

"Thanks again, Mrs. Prior. I really appreciate it."

"Well, where is the other person we are so eager to meet?" my father asked jovially. He seemed to be in a very good mood today.

We all looked at one another, confused.

"What you father means is that where is our future son-in-law?" my mother intervened, smiling. "He is a little miffed that Tobias asked Beatrice before him, but I think he approves, all the same."

I gaped at my parents. Tobias asked me? What exactly did Marcus tell my father? Or did he mistook my silence for agreement?

"Tobias Eaton still better ask me, if he knows what's good for him," my father joked. What was wrong with him today? "Otherwise, I'll tell him my little girl changed her mind."

I still had my mouth open, when like a ghost, the man himself appeared at the front door.

"I should hope not," he said, looking straight at my parents. "I couldn't live if she turned me away."

From the look on my mother's eyes, she was already a goner, succumbed to Tobias' sudden charming self.

"However, I do apologize. Forgive my ill manners, but I should have definitely asked your permission first, Mr. and Mrs. Prior."

And my father was not faring any better. I shut my mouth and gritted my teeth, while from the corner of my eyes, I could see Christina muffle her laughter and Caleb doing his best fish impersonation.

"No apology needed, boy. You are almost family now," my father smiled proudly.

"And no formality in the house. You can call us by our names, or if you prefer, Mom and Dad," my mom answered, sniffling a little.

"Thanks," Tobias said, sounding choked, but seemed like a complete act to me. And then tried it out on his lips, "Mom."

Christina howled with laughter, Caleb looked he'd faint from lack of oxygen…and I…I just wanted to scream my lungs off.


End file.
